The key to survival on any social networking site is your ability to keep a healthy level of detatchment from the people you only know from the online world.
I had an opportunity to think about this today as I was sitting in my living room, watching Judge Judy... or Judge Alex... or Judge Mathis... or one of those people who dispenses justice with Wapneresque efficiency. There was no particular case to cite; however, the constant reminder that I was watching these shows on television on a couch in a room by myself (again) led me to think hard about what got me here.
Am I really still in Texas? As many of you regular readers (*snicker*) know, I moved out here in 2006. There were three main surface reasons: I followed a job, I wanted to get away from my mother, and I wanted to see how well I'd fare by myself. However, there was something deeper.
I had made a few friends in Texas before moving down here. Two were in the Houston area, and one was right in the Dallas suburb of Garland. All of them seemed anxious to meet me when they heard I was finally moving here (in fact, two of them offered me sex).
Then, I got down here. Wow, what a difference 1,600 miles makes.
The Garland chick met me once, then decided we'd be better off just online friends.
Houston chick #1 vanished and I didn't hear anything from her until about four months after I'd gotten here. She had relocated to Las Cruces, New Mexico, and left Fubar.
Houston chick #2 finally met me after I'd been here nearly 8 months. Her attitude towards me changed from "I'll do you myself" to "Come down to my show and I'll introduce you to someone," which didn't happen because the "someone" left before I got there. And after I left and came back here, I never heard from either of them again.
Since that time, I've also noticed how many of my interactions here have turned into unmitigated crap because of the expectation and the need to meet. From the chick who wrote a global mumm asking Fubar whether or not to remove me from her friends list, to the girl who is married but still wanted me to leave the state to hang out with her, to the young mother who griped that my attitude changed because she cancelled our own meeting last-minute. Those are just three losses out of... I stopped counting.
One person who remains on my family is still on good terms with me, despite living within the one hour mark of me. The secret? I promised her several months ago that I would never, ever try to meet her. We're not exactly best friends, but I can't think of a single awkward moment or argument with her since then.
As much as I hate being alone out here, I hate getting into fights with people over it even more. In the end, I wind up losing out (mostly because they still have friends nearby). So, it seems that keeping my distance is the only real safe bet. The awkwardness of the assumption that one of us has an agenda is eliminated; I don't have to burn any more fuel on someone who doesn't want me around; and, most importantly, I don't risk any more stories of some lonely Fubar Bouncer floating around the site.
