Over 10,738,001 people are on fubar. What are you waiting for?

Contrary to this post's title, the subject is not about Fubar's rating system. Fubar members have had a long-standing unwritten rule about always rating member profiles and photos a 10 or 11. (Officially, you may rate anything any number you want, but expect some pushback from members who like to get unreasonably upset and overreact if you hand them a 9.) This post is actually about people getting together -- who tends to attract whom, and how I use this theory to prevent myself from getting scammed.

We already have this rating system in our minds: the most attractive and desirable of us get higher numbers on the scale, as referenced by such phrases as "she's a dime" or "he's a perfect 10." Those of us not blessed with supermodel looks fall closer to the lower end of the spectrum and are called "zeroes" or other unflattering terms. Be aware that, like every other rating system that is not governed by standards, these are all subjective; these are opinions with no factual basis.

However, it is no accident that the couples that do eventually hook up are usually either both really pretty, or both... well, "average." You might blame basic economics on this: if you have something in high demand, wouldn't you hold out and wait for a really good offer before letting it go? A woman who could be considered an 8 would rarely be seen with a man who ranks below a 7. However, if a 10 shows up, she won't turn him away (and before you say "That's not always true!", realize that we're still dealing with subjective statements. He may not be a 10 to her, even if you see him as a 15).

It may not surprise you to know that most people, when asked to rate themselves on a scale from 1 to 10, will usually say 6 or 7. If you know anything about the law of averages, you already see the fallacy in place. The nature of averages states that (about) half of the people rank higher, while (about) the other half rank lower. Even if you don't know what a normal bell curve looks like, you don't need to be a statistician to realize that this means most people think they are above average. This is what causes Mr. Machismo to set his standards too high and get disappointed when the girl he thinks he should have gotten won't give him the time of day.

This subjective number may also be modified by variables other than appearance. If all I needed to factor in was how she looked, then I could look at this cute chick from the bowling alley and say "Wow, that's an awesome 9.5 there!" However, I happen to have hung out with her before. Her personality is crap, she treats people like dirt, and will usually only hang out with you if you have beer to offer. To me, that makes her a 4. I also happen to know that the guy she is currently dating spent some time in the joint for a felony. Without saying all felons are worthless people, I guarantee you he's not a 10. Comparatively speaking, I know a woman who is physically a 6 who bowls in the same bowling alley. She has self-respect, self-esteem, and smiles a lot. That alone makes her at least an 8. The guy she married, although he isn't gracing the covers of romance novels, is still a nice enough guy where he ranks in the high 7's, himself. Their marriage is doing nicely and they get along famously.

Talking of differences, what happens when you see that drop-dead gorgeous, shapely woman who oozes 10-ness step out of the club, arm-in-arm with a hairy, nasty, troll-like 2? It happens more than you think. Remember what I said about subjectiveness? Somewhere in that 2's repitoire, he's hiding an 8. It's either in his bank account or in his pants. Ron Jeremy is probably the ugliest man on the planet; he is fat, hairy, greasy-looking, and has "the Hedgehog" as a nickname. And if you add together all the 10's he has nailed in his lifetime, we would never be able to reach that number with all of the 5's we might have had a shot at.

Set realistic goals. Don't get suckered in by a 10 who is suddenly interested in you out of nowhere. Your wallet will thank you. Your heart will thank you. The 7 in the background who really likes you for you will greatly appreciate it.

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