when did i become a cute attractive guy? i ask myself this all the time. i continuosly see myself as a dorky, nerdy, and goofy guy that i have always been. i guess i keep seeing myself as i was so many years ago. no confidence and a loser. i guess i ahvent overcome that fear of being a success in the game of life. it keeps throwing me curve balls and i keep missing them. its only been a few years since rather attractive people have given me the time of day and i dont know how to handle it. ive always wanted acceptance from people but then when i do get it i dont know how to handle it. it seems like it all came at once almost like overnight. i just wasnt ready to accept it then and im still struggling with it. i have started to at least consider myself and mildly attractive and interesting. ive always been interesting i guess more people are accepting and into the same kinds of things. maybe its just the times we are living in. they are very different from say even 5 years ago. maybe im trying to hold onto something from the past that i dont know what it is and everything else is changing around me and im not keeping up. or maybe im still a bit ahead and cant cope. i dont know what it is but i still feel im in the wrong place and wrong time. maybe things will fall into place later on in life as long as i dont miss any chances. all i know is attaractive people are awesome and im glad im being accepted by them. i finally got an invitation into the pretty people club. granted its different from the mainstream club but its still one full of sexy beautiful talented and SMART people. so all the dorky nerdy cute people keep on uniting and making changes to the fucked up society that we live in. we will always be in the shadows but we have, can, and will continue to make changes in the world. keep up the good work. damn i run onto so many different ideas. this started out as me questioning my looks and ended up on a polictical note. which reminds me im about to start drawing again and ive decided to do at least a few drawings of social commentary pieces again. im still working out all the details in my head so as long as i can get them out they will kick ass like always. i always like to make people think. cant live as a dumbass forever and survive. the zombies will eat you first if you arent smart enough to survive. so i guess i will end my random rants and raves with the elf is always watching. may not always be able to speak up but will always make comments and hope that others like the elf strive to make this troubled time a bit better to live in.
