why must it be so hard to have something real? why cant i find someone that wants to spend time with me? i want someone to keep me excited. keep me interested. too feel someones touch. to feel someones love. to feel someones passion. i want to connect with someone mind and be tested. yet all i do is wonder around this world alone and bored. lazy and unmotivated to follow my passion. staying positive when my mind tries to force me back down the rabbit hole of depression. stay afloat dont sink down. keep remembering what once was to stay afloat. keep remembering what was nice and good to be accepting something real when it may happen to pop up. the real genuine smile to brighten the day. the hello to spark your mind. the kiss to light the fuse of creativity. the dinner to expand your mind. the laugh to grow your confidence. to find something real in a space that all you find is fake and lies is difficult. did i just build my own solitary confinement or am i on my own mountain that no one can reach?