Over 16,538,707 people are on fubar.
What are you waiting for?
- He had a photographic memory that was never developed.
- A plateau is a high form of flattery.
- The short fortuneteller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
- Once you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall.
- Those who jump off a Paris bridge are in Seine.
- When an actress saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.
- Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis.
- Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
- Acupuncture is a jab well done.
- Marathon runners with bad footwear suffer the agony of defeat.
- The poor guy fell into a glass grinding machine and made a spectacle of himself.
What with all the sadness and trauma going on in the world at the moment, it is worth reflecting on the death of a very important person which almost went unnoticed last week.
Larry La Prise, the man who wrote the song "The Hokey Pokey" died peacefully at age 93.
The most traumatic part for his family was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in...
...and then the trouble started.
One of my husband's duties as a novice drill instructor at Fort Jackson, S.C., was to escort new recruits to the mess hall. After everyone had made it through the chow line, he sat them down and told them, "There are three rules in this mess hall: Shut up! Eat up! Get up!"
Checking to see that he had everyone's attention, he asked, "What is the first rule?"
Much to the amusement of the other instructors, 60 privates yelled in unison, "Shut up, Drill Sergeant!"
Three boys are in the schoolyard bragging about their fathers. The first boy says, "My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a poem, they give him $50."
The second boy says, "That's nothing. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a song, they give him $100."
The third boy says, "I got you both beat. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a sermon. And it takes eight people to collect all the money!"
A frog walks into a bank and asks the teller, "Who do I talk to about getting a loan?" The teller shows him to the office of the loans manager, Ms. Patricia Black.
"I would like a loan for $20.00 to buy a new lily pad," the frog tells her.
"Do you have any collateral?" asks Ms. Black.
The frog produces a small statuette of the Eiffel Tower with the inscription "Souvenir of Paris" engraved on the base. Unsure whether or not the object is worth the amount of the loan, she summons the bank manager.
The manager inspects the trinket, nods his head, and says, "It's a knick-knack, Patty Black - give the frog a loan."
