PortlyIrishman's blog: "Humor from a Nutty Irishman"

As a woman passed her daughter's closed bedroom door, she heard a strange buzzing noise coming from within. Opening the door, she observed her daughter giving herself a real workout with a vibrator.

Shocked, she asked, "What in the world are you doing?"

The daughter replied, "Mom, I'm thirty-nine years old, unmarried, and this thing is about as close as I'll ever get to a husband. Please, go away and leave me alone."

The next day, the girl's father heard the same buzz coming from the other side of the closed bedroom door. Upon entering the room, he observed his daughter making passionate love to her vibrator.

To his query as to what she was doing, the daughter said, "Dad I'm thirty-nine, unmarried, and this thing is about as close as I'll ever get to a husband. Please, go away and leave me alone."

A couple days later, the wife comes home from a shopping trip, places the groceries on the kitchen counter, and hears that buzzing noise coming from, of all places, the living room. She enters and observes her husband sitting on the couch, downing a cold beer, and staring at the TV. The vibrator is next to him on the couch, buzzing like crazy. The wife asks, "What the hell are you doing?"

The husband replied, "I'm watching football with my son-in-law."

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Mr Honda, of the Honda Motorcycle Corporation, died and went to heaven for judgment.

At the gates, St. Peter told Mr Honda, "since you've been such a good man and your motorcycles have changed the world, your reward is, you can hang out with anyone you want in Heaven

Mr Honda thought about it for a minute and then said, "I want to hang out with God. I have a question for Him."

St. Peter took Mr Honda to the Throne Room and introduced him to God.

Mr. Honda then asked God, "Aren't you the inventor of women?

God Said, "Ah, yes. Indeed I am".

"Well," said Mr Honda, "Professional to professional, you have some major design flaws in your design;

1. There's too much inconsistency in the front-end protrusion.
2. It chatters constantly at high speeds.
3. Most of the rear ends are too soft and have excessive wobble.
4. The intake is placed way too close to the exhaust.
5. Plus the monthly down time and aggravation are outrageous, and I don't even wanna start talking about the maintenance costs.

"Hmmmm, you do raise some good points" replied God, "Lets have a wee look."

God went to his Celestial super computer, typed in a few things and waited for the results.

After a moment God said, "Well, it may be true that my invention seems to be flawed, but according to these numbers, more men are riding my invention than yours."