8975372's blog: "Just For Laughs"

14 things you should never say to someone from Alabama.

1. "You guys take college football way too seriously down here."

There's no such thing. College football is serious. Now pick a team so we can get down to business.

2. "What an adorable accent! Say something so I can hear it again."

Just because we say things like "dah-lin'" and "nekkid" and "front porch swang" doesn't mean we're cute, or stupid. It just means our responses sound deceptively sweet, like "Bless your heart, you're so clueless."

3. "You sound so country."

No. We are genteel. There's a difference. (Look it up)

4. "Kansas (North Carolina, Texas) has the best barbecue."

Say what? There's no barbecue like Alabama barbecue.

5. "C'mon, we know everyone in Alabama is an uneducated redneck."

Puh-leeze! Alabama is home to NASA, world-class medical facilities at the University of Alabama at Birmingham, bio-tech research, aerospace engineering, the Robotics Technology Park, and all kinds of cultural activities such as the Shakespeare Festival theater group. Yes, we know who Shakespeare was. Some of us can even quote him.

6. "I thought you would all be barefoot."

We do own shoes. Most of the time, we even wear them, especially when the sign says to.

7. "It's not the heat; it's the humidity."

Like we haven't heard that before. Yes, it's humid. That's why our skin looks so dewy.

8. "Isn't Space Camp in Florida?"

Oh no you did-unt. Space Camp was created in Huntsville, Ala., where the main facility remains today.

9. "The real Mardi Gras is held in New Orleans."

No. The real Mardi Gras is the first Mardis Gras, which was held in Mobile, Ala., in 1703, years before New Orleans was even founded.

10. "Can't you just make instant grits?"

Um, no.

11. "Bear who?"

Catch us before we faint. There's only one "Bear," the late, great Bear Bryant, and he belongs to Alabama.

12. "I thought Channing Tatum was from Florida."

He may have lived there but he was born right here in Cullman. And we claim him. Wouldn't you?

13. To an Auburn fan: "Gus Malzahn is overrated."

The heck you say.

14. To an Alabama fan: "Fifteen, schmifteen. Everyone knows Bama fans claim more national titles than the team actually won."

Whoa. You don't go there. Unless you want a fight on your hands.

Its good to be from the south!!!!!

1.Armadillos sleep in the middle of the road with their feet in the air. 2.There are 5,000 types of snakes on earth and 4,998 live in Arkansas 3.There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 live in Arkansas , plus a couple no one's seen before. 4.If it grows, it sticks; if it crawls, it bites. 5.'Twiced' is a word. 6.People actually grow and eat okra 7.'Fixinto' is one word. 8.There is no such thing as 'lunch.'There is only dinner and then supper. 9.Iced tea is appropriate for all meals and you start drinking it when you're two. We do like a little tea with our sugar! 10.'Backwards and forwards' means I know everything about you! 11.Djeet is actually a phrase meaning 'Did you eat?' 12.You don't have to wear a watch because it doesn't matter what time it is. You work until you're done or it's too dark to see. 13.You don't PUSH buttons, you MASH them.. 14.You measure distance in hours. Like its 3 hours from Little Rock to Fort Smith. 15.You'll probably have to switch from 'heat' to 'A/C' in the same day. 16.'Fix' is a verb. Example: 'I'm fixing to go to the store.' 17.You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked. 18.Yes, Friday night high school football games is serious football! 19.You carry jumper cables in your car . . .for your OWN car. 20.There are only four spices: salt, pepper,Tabasco and ketchup. 21.The local papers cover national and international news on one page, but require 6 pages for local gossip and sports. 22.100 degrees Fahrenheit is 'a little warm.' 23.We have four seasons: Almost Summer, Summer,still Summer and Christmas. 24.Going to Wal-mart is a favorite past time known as 'goin' to Wally-World.' 25.A cool snap (below 70 degrees) is good pinto-bean weather. 26.A carbonated soft drink isn't a soda, cola or pop. .. . . it's a Coke, regardless of brand or flavor. Example:'What kind a coke you want?' 27.Fried catfish is the other white meat. 28.We don't need no stinking driver's Ed . .. .if our mama says we can drive, we can drive. EVERYONE can't be from Arkansas . You might say it's a gift from God! And the most important thing we learn in ARKANSAS is... IN GOD WE TRUST

Older Ladies Anthem

You can't laugh through this one, "My thighs kinda jiggle, when I giggle or wiggle"