14 things you should never say to someone from Alabama.
1. "You guys take college football way too seriously down here."
There's no such thing. College football is serious. Now pick a team so we can get down to business.
2. "What an adorable accent! Say something so I can hear it again."
Just because we say things like "dah-lin'" and "nekkid" and "front porch swang" doesn't mean we're cute, or stupid. It just means our responses sound deceptively sweet, like "Bless your heart, you're so clueless."
3. "You sound so country."
No. We are genteel. There's a difference. (Look it up)
4. "Kansas (North Carolina, Texas) has the best barbecue."
Say what? There's no barbecue like Alabama barbecue.
5. "C'mon, we know everyone in Alabama is an uneducated redneck."
Puh-leeze! Alabama is home to NASA, world-class medical facilities at the University of Alabama at Birmingham, bio-tech research, aerospace engineering, the Robotics Technology Park, and all kinds of cultural activities such as the Shakespeare Festival theater group. Yes, we know who Shakespeare was. Some of us can even quote him.
6. "I thought you would all be barefoot."
We do own shoes. Most of the time, we even wear them, especially when the sign says to.
7. "It's not the heat; it's the humidity."
Like we haven't heard that before. Yes, it's humid. That's why our skin looks so dewy.
8. "Isn't Space Camp in Florida?"
Oh no you did-unt. Space Camp was created in Huntsville, Ala., where the main facility remains today.
9. "The real Mardi Gras is held in New Orleans."
No. The real Mardi Gras is the first Mardis Gras, which was held in Mobile, Ala., in 1703, years before New Orleans was even founded.
10. "Can't you just make instant grits?"
Um, no.
11. "Bear who?"
Catch us before we faint. There's only one "Bear," the late, great Bear Bryant, and he belongs to Alabama.
12. "I thought Channing Tatum was from Florida."
He may have lived there but he was born right here in Cullman. And we claim him. Wouldn't you?
13. To an Auburn fan: "Gus Malzahn is overrated."
The heck you say.
14. To an Alabama fan: "Fifteen, schmifteen. Everyone knows Bama fans claim more national titles than the team actually won."
Whoa. You don't go there. Unless you want a fight on your hands.
Its good to be from the south!!!!!