fubar

For those of you who don't know me, my name is Randy. My wife, DeeDeeMB and I played here on Fubar since 2008. DeeDee and I played the game of Fubar hard and there was a time when most people knew us. As time went on and some people (not Fubar) changed the way Fubar is played, and we decided to back off a bit. DeeDee and I mostly kept our private lives just that, private. Now, I am going to open up to a side of our lives very few on here knew about, and I will explain at the end.

First off, you knew her as DeeDee. To me, she was Diane. We got married in August 2000. Outside of the birth of my children and I'm sure to Diane as well, at that point I had never been happier. We started a very successful real estate investment firm, we bought a house across the street from the beach in Myrtle Beach, and our biggest decision of the day was which way were we gonna ride the Harley that day. Life was perfect.

In 2004, Diane was diagnosed with COPD. We had noticed her having a little trouble doing things like climbing stairs and walking any kind of distance. We still played golf, rode the bike, and went about life as normal, but as time went on, it was taking her longer to do things.

In 2010 we made a decision. Our parents had hit their 80's and their health wasn't as good as they used to be. We had kept our home in North Carolina, so we decided to go back to NC to be closer to family. In 2013 Diane was diagnosed with breast cancer and in 2018 was given a "cancer free" diagnosis. Both of Diane's parents passed away in 2016 three months apart. This really took a toll on her. Her and I along with my mom battled a bout of pneumonia in late winter 2019. Diane ended up in the hospital at that time, and I honestly thought I had lost her then.

Fast forward to this year, 2021. On January 25, 2021, it started as any other day. After dinner, Diane stayed at the dinner table for awhile, which was unusual for her. We checked and asked if she was OK, she said she wasn't really feeling well and excused herself to the restroom. When she didn't come out after some time, I went to check on her. She was sitting on a chair, gasping for air, sweating, and asking me to call an ambulance. They had to resuscitate her once in the ambulance and three times in the hospital. She spent 9 days in the ICU. She ended up with pneumonia and congestive heart failure while she was there. The day before before Diane was supposed to be checked out of the hospital, the hospital case worker came to me. She asked me if I wanted to put Diane in a facility, or send her home to die. I had to catch myself with the wall to keep from falling flat. She told me we were talking months, not years. I told them I would take her home with me and I would take care of her. They acted surprised, but Diane was my life. There was no way I would put her in a facility.

When Diane came home, she couldn't even lift her head off her pillow. With some TLC and work, in about 3 weeks we had her to where she could walk to the bathroom, go to the dinner table for dinner, and at times we would play some cards and such. After about another two months, she got to where she couldn't do that anymore. She could sit up in the bed, stand up, but she couldn't walk very far at all. About the first of May, Diane started going down hill a little faster and a little faster. Several times her Hospice nurse said to let the family know if they wanted to see her again, they may want to come soon. Diane would always come back and recover. She was a very tough fighter.

On the day of July 23, 2021 Dee was very loving that day. Every time I got near her she would want a kiss and a hug. If my mom got near her she would grab her arm and tell her she loved her so much. That night, Diane would lose consciousness and never regain it again. On Saturday, July 24th, the weekend nurse came and checked on Diane. She told me we were talking maybe a few days. I knew it was coming and tried my best to tell myself I was prepared. She told me to continue to give her Morphine every two hours for any pain she may have. I knew at that point, she would never wake up. I still hoped she would even for just a minute. The nurse said she could hear me, but she couldn't respond. I took Diane's hand, and I asked her to please squeeze my hand if she could hear me. She did indeed squeeze my hand. The rest of the day, every time I was in her room I would hug her, kiss her and tell her I loved her over and over.

At about 6am on July 25th, I went upstairs and checked on Diane. She was breathing and some congestion she had seemed to have cleared up. I again gave her a kiss and hug, told her I loved her and went back down stairs. At 7:45am, a strange thing happened. Our dog, Scooter woke up my mom. Mom got up and went to the bathroom and come back to check on Diane. She was cold. Mom called me and asked me if I had been in to check on Diane recently, I told her at 6. She told me I might want to come up. I went upstairs, and Mom told me that Diane had passed. I went to her bedside and in a split second, my heart and my life was completely ripped out of me. I dropped to the floor and wept harder than I ever had in my life. I begged Diane to please wake up.. I told her she could even fuss at me about something.

Now, at the beginning of my page, I told you I would let you know why I let you into our personal life. It's a reason I know you have heard a thousand times. As all couples do, we had our little arguments over out nearly 21 years. We never had a knock down drag out fight, but of course we had our disagreements. Even if one of us was upset with each other we never went to sleep at night without a good night kiss and an "I love you". Anytime I left the house, always a kiss and an "I love you". PLEASE... PLEASE... PLEASE make sure you let the people you love know that you do love them. You never know when it will be the last time. I do OK at times and other times I cry just as I did when she passed. But, I can take solace in knowing Diane left this world knowing I loved her. I can feel her with me at night when I lay down. She is with me, and I can't help but believe it is because she knows I love her still