Fucked up Jokes!!
Two old men decide they are close to their last days and decide to
have a last night on the town. After a few drinks, they end up at
the local brothel.
The madam takes one look at the two old geezers and whispers to
her
manager, "go up to the first two bedrooms and put an inflated doll in each bed.
These two are so old and drunk, I'm not wasting two of my girls on
them. They won't know the difference." the manager does as he is
told
and the two old men go upstairs and take care of their business.
As they are walking home the first man says, "you know, I think my
girl was dead "Dead?" says his friend, "why would you say that?"
"well, she never moved or made a sound all the time I was loving
her."
His friend says, "I think mine was a witch."
a witch, why the hell would you say that?"
"Well, I was making love to her, kissing her on the neck and I
gave
her a little bite, then she farted and flew out the window."
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A man goes to his doctor's and says, "Doc, I've just been raped by an elephant!"
The stunned doctor replies, "What makes you say that?"
"Well," says the man holding his hands about a foot or so apart, "my asshole feels this big!"
"Bend over, and let me have a look," says the doctor.
The guy bends over and sure enough, his asshole is about ten inches across.
"But I thought that elephants only had a long, thin penis?" states the doctor.
"Yeah, I know," says the agitated man, "but it fingered me first!"
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There were 2 cavemen, Ug and Og. Ug was sat in his cave wanking (he had just invented it) when Og walked in. "What you doing?" said Og. "Wanking" said Ug. Ug showed Og how to do it and Og left to try it for himself. Later, Ug heard a loud scream from Ogs cave and ran in. Og was sat on the floor with his dick in one hand and a club in the other. "What happened?" asked a curious Ug. No reply. "What happened Og?" After a minute or two Og replied, "when I tried that thing you taught me, it spat at me so I hit it with my club!"
