A couple days ago I responded to a mum about whether I would want to join a "family of friends." Basically, I said no, and referenced a couple "families" on here that I have found to be somewhat exclusive and nasty to outsiders and other groups of people.
The owner of the mum responded with "but my group wouldn't be like that!"
However, I have to wonder... is that ever possible? Is it ever possible for a group to not be discriminatory? Aren't groups, by nature, rather exclusionary?
I mean, noone starts out that way. Groups form so people can talk with people who have common interests, attitudes, etc. But as the group grows, the standards of behavior/attitude/etc. you have to have in order to fit into that group grow more and more narrow. And because human beings, by nature, tend to be smugly certain that their way is the best... well, by golly, that ends up meaning that obviously anyone in *their* group is superior. You can see this throughout our society, and throughout history, from racial strife, to religious fervor, to, hell, the Boy Scouts of America.
I've never been a joiner. I'm generally a rule-follower, but I have to understand and believe in the rules. Generally, I won't understand or believe in at least some of the rules for any particular group. And I have always had a lot of different interests, and a lot of friends who shared some of those divergent interests. That's whyI've never been able to only be an actor, a music geek, a geek, an SCA type... So if I "join" one group, that means that I'm only supposed to really bond with that one group, and it limits me.
So, in the end, do I want to join a group online? No. I'll continue making friends the other way, where I'm not limited to only certain friends who share only a few of my interests or attitudes.
