Men pulling out sex toys? Hang on a sec -- that’s supposed to be the woman’s job. Times are changing, and it is entirely acceptable for a man to declare his longings for sex toys -- even huge cock shaped ones -- to be introduced into the bedroom repertoire. It is great to have a man who isn’t insecure about it. Just be careful when pulling out butt plugs or prostate massagers because she is unlikely to be familiar with these. A vibrating plastic vagina might be on the weird side, and she may not know how to use a cock ring, or have ever seen a French tickler before, but no doubt she will embrace them with enthusiasm once given a quick lesson. But what if she doesn’t?
There is a small chance she might think you are weird, in which case, you simply need to educate her so she is no longer afraid of the strange objects you wish to bring into the bedroom. The first step is to talk about it, especially if the toy is not standard issue vibrating material.
How to introduce it: Ask her if you can use a toy on her. Or, next time you are giving her oral pleasure, add it in without her even seeing it. Other toys may need a better explanation, so just take care to explain the purpose of each toy, how it works and what she can expect. She doesn’t want to feel like an uneducated sex toy klutz if she has never used one before.
Introducing light bondage
Kink factor: 3 ½ out of 5
Yes, she has a view on this particular passtime even if she has never ever done it. She might think it is fun and sexy or she might think it is scary and weird. Just so you know, most women view this as sexy, not weird. But whatever her view, make sure you know what it is -- talk. You must always have permission.
How to introduce it: Next time you’re in the throes of passion, hold her wrists above her head or by her sides and tease her with your hands or mouth or a feather. Hold her wrists lightly so that when she tries to wriggle free, she can’t move unless she pushes against you firmly. Tease her some more, and then whisper seductively in her ear: “Can I tie you up and tease you until you have an orgasm/can’t stand it any longer/want me to stop?” Then, do your thing!
Some guidelines: Don’t both be tied up on the same occasion. If you are using rope, hemp is soft and won’t burn. Cotton is good because it’s soft, but fraying may be a problem. Synthetic rope will probably give rope burn, so unless you enjoy the pain, give it a miss. Try pulling out some fluffy handcuffs or a scarf. Save the blindfolding for another day. Keep some blunt ended scissors handy and always check the temperature of tied-up body parts (hands, feet) in case the circulation is being cut off and they need to be released. Never refuse to release someone unless this is part of your sex game. If this is the case, use safe words. Never tie anything around someone’s neck.
