TheAmbassadorOfRomanceInVenus's blog: "A Smiley"

I'm not too fit, I'll have you know I'm overweight and rather slow But when I run, I manage; though I'm breathless! Though in the past it was not thus, I am not one to swear and cuss, Except that, trying to catch a bus, I'm breathless! When as a youth, I used to play With sweet young ladies in the hay The girls would be the ones to say: "I'm breathless"! At sport I'd always stay the course I was as strong as any horse But now, with just a little force, I'm breathless! I guess my life has reached the stage When these things happen at my age. If all my passions I assuage, I'm breathless! I have my annual body checks And find out if I need new specs. But sadly, when I'm having sex, I'm breathless! No longer, now, do I aspire To climb a mountain, walk on fire; Instead I curb each wild desire - I'm breathless

How can I compare your beauty to other faces? You seduce me in the sunshine unashamedly, knowing I cannot look away. My soul cries out more, more, and again I search your dark eyes until I'm strapped in a trance like state. You proceed to tease my lips with your tongue delegating my mind to your ocean, where I glide above the surface gushing with exhilaration. Your bouquet fills my face and body projecting me to hovering heights that have my heart racing as if in a lover's embrace. Yet, you free me to further savour your endless delights, till I cannot get enough, and consume you like an army of leaf ants would ravage to build their home. Just as I can feel the slip into the next dimension, a painless place free of blame, I open my eyes and you sit there waiting. Gee I love Mudcake.

Hot and wet ... I rediscover, The magic of my secret lover, Work day's problems in the past, Oh! How long can this pleasure last? Nipples erect ... mind soaring high, Hand lingering around my inner thigh, Inhibitions erased by liquid heat, Passion aroused ... lust almost replete. The moment's lost ... there goes the phone, Reality returns ... I'm all alone, I grab a towel and run to answer, Co-ordination of a drunken dancer, Circumstances quickly change, Priorities are re-arranged, So now I eagerly await the hour, When I can have my next Hot Shower.

Yeah, you with that "I've got nearly enough on my plate but I'd like a serving of you dressed in nothing more than massage oil" look in your eyes. You know, I'd just love to kiss you. I've got this kissing urge that goes way beyond lips and skin and saliva and tongue. You know, that sort of kissing urge that just leads on and on to all senses tingling and screaming and begging for more. Yeah, I'd love to kiss you Full, firmly on the smacker so that our breath mingles and the sweet secretions of our mouths, open to each other, blend and brew. I'd really like to kiss you - can you tell? And then, My hands as the servants of an exploratory mind would search your face, your head. Phrenology a study that wants examining further. Your neck, that smooth highway from your mind to your physique I would suckle and lick to find Your pulse. Your lifeblood. I'd like to take the lobe of your ear between my teeth and tease your aural sensibilities with the ramblings of my tongue. I'd like to look deep down into your eyes and open up your soul to searing scrutiny. I'd wrap my aura around yours to form psychadelia. I'd like to wrap my arms around your shoulders And hold your body from clavicle to hip tightly Against the corresponding parts of me. I'd like to feel the pressure of your abs, pecs, thighs As they fill and flow beneath their smooth casing. I'd like to watch them, make them pumped and play with them. I'd like to use my nails against your back and send morse messages of lust and desire through your spinal chord. I'd follow each rib, each disc serving as a sub-station for my dictation. I'd tattoo these thoughts and dreams through to yours. I'd like to massage your fantasies into pliancy and sculpt them into form. I'd like to wrap your legs around my legs around you and pull you into me. I'd like to make you climax so that your brain loses all sense of reality, time, rationalism and focus and swells instead with a mantra that means more. I'd like to take you on that rollercoaster where every loop is the crest of a breaking wave that spirals down and around and back until ups and downs seem no more like directions but a never-ending montage. I'd like to meld our bodies into one joyous ball of energy bouncing on the pleasurable see-saw of ecstasy and bliss. But I won't. For, I'm not that sort of girl any more.

Ever had an itch you just couldn't satisfy? Maybe you'll relate to this poem. An itch to be scratched - A lust unmatched - An empty bed - "Let's go!" she said. And on the summer's afternoon we loved until we saw the moon. Exhausted, laying there exposed upon my belly, I proposed she scratch my back to top it off - and soon she did, so soft, so soft. Nails as sharp as 'Wiltshires' creep like slugs upon a compost heap across my sweaty skin until I feel an itch she can't quite kill. "Just up a bit." She hears me say. "Down a bit...the other way. Up a tad. You've gone askew. Slide across a touch or two. A little harder. Damn it! Swat it! Keep going, yes, you've almost got it. Listen woman, can't you tell. You're nowhere near it. Bloody Hell!” I fling my body in the air and land atop the carpet bare Grinding hard upon my back searching for a pointy tac to give me what I really need - a decent scratch that makes me bleed Bewildered, she is staring down, as losing it, I go to town. Raising up my back, I arch it, slamming hard down on the carpet. My body parts are flicking, hectic, like I'm turning epileptic. A book! A knife! A nice high heel! Give me something I can feel But suddenly, like when it reared, my itch just vanished...disappeared. I rose, so pleased, my love to tell and found that she was gone as well. The door was slammed, the lock was latched. Our race was run...and I was scratched!

Here is a weird funny song I wrote a while ago, and to this day cannot put it to music - that makes it a poem. I'm just a normal guy, just as plain as one can be. My Mum & Dad were average folks, & that's how they raised me I don't understand it, it's to normal things I'm geared By day my life is sane, but at night my dreams are weird I'm just a normal fella who goes off to work each day I do my job, lunch with my mates, each week collect my pay But in the night I dread the bed, each night is just the same Cause all my dreams are kinky, one overnight sick game. I'm dressed in a G-string tied in a bow There's a chicken in a garter belt, Oh God no! Birds fly by and wolf whistle overhead Don't roll over there's a roo in the bed ... 15 Strippers all in a row All with bra-straps ready to blow One pretty lady dancin' in my lap Don't you touch or you'll get a nasty slap. I'm just a normal guy, just as plain as one can be. My Mum & Dad were average folks, & that's how they raised me I think one day when I was small, Ma dropped me in the sink By day I'm just a normal sod, by all my dreams are kinked I'd like to have a girlfriend, but it just never does work out We get on fine until they find what my night dreams are about Then they drop me like a stone, they say they can't compete With nude three-breasted women with vibrators on their feet Hippos in tutus, hot oil & cream Chains and whips all to make me scream Lizards & snakes all in strange places They're gettin' it on & making lewd faces When dreaming the nightclubs everywhere Are chock full of animals in underwear Teddy Bears in teddies, wombats in hot pants All we need now is a couple thousand ants I'm just a normal guy, just as plain as one can be. My Mum & Dad were average folks, & that's how they raised me My life could be near perfect, my life could be real fun If only when I slept the chorus girls weren't dressed like nuns I went to see a famous shrink, to straighten out my head I told him if I can't get fixed I might as well be dead He laid me down & said "tell me of your erotic dreams" I said "One feather is erotic, not whole chickens soaked in cream!" There are female wrestlers all covered in jelly Exotic dancers doing things with their bellies A cute sexy lady, covered in mud Whispers in my ear with the voice of Elmer Fudd There are strong males strippers with bricks in their jocks With all those square corners they couldn't be socks This stuff all around me is one kinky dream Whatever you imagine I'm sure to have a theme I guess it is my lot to life, can't beat it so I'll join I suppose that they are only dreams they don't even cost a coin So if at night you happen to hear me in my sleep Just think, "that lucky bugger, is dancing naked tending sheep." I'm just a normal guy, just as plain as one can be. My Mum & Dad were average folks, & that's how they raised me I don't under stand it, it's to normal things I'm geared By day my life is sane, but at night my dreams are weird

She whispered "will it hurt me?" "Of course not" answered he "It's a very simple process, You can rely on me." She said "I'm very frightened, I've not had this before. My friend has had it five times And said it can be sore." It was growing rather painful Tears formed in her eyes It was hurting quite a bit now It must have been a size. "Calm yourself" he whispered "His face filled with a grin "Try and open wider So I can get it in." "It's coming now" he whispered "I know" she cried in bliss Feeling it deep within her now She said "I am glad I'm having this." And with a final effort She gave a frightened shout He gripped it in anguish And quickly pulled it out. She lay back quite contended Sighed and gave a smile She said "I'm glad I came now You made it worth my while." Now if you read this carefully The dentist you will find Is not what you imagined It's just your dirty mind!!