Pregnancy blows!! I am tired of being fat and tired and bitchy and being alone for it all. My daughters daddy is in Oregon and sharing a "perfect family" with his ex which I cant blame him for--they are about to have 2 gorgeous little boys. I have two baby girls on the way but we lost our daughter Ivy and feel like he is mad at me for it cuz he didnt get to see her or hold her before she died. Things were supposed to be different and they are exactly the same. I get sacrificed for the good of her emotions and its killing me this time around. Last summer I wasnt caring soo much but after everything this last year and the last few months me and him have gone through I cant do it again. I really really cant. Damn you!!! I hate you and I love you all in the same turn and for many of the same reasons. Something has to change or Im gonna go insane. Hell I already am. Only he can make me feel like this and I wish it wasnt that way.
