Let's talk about guilty pleasures. C'mon, we all have them. A movie, book, or food that we really enjoy, but would be embarrassed to share with most people.
Well, as we know by now, I'm not embarrassed to share just about anything with you poor saps, since you're willing to read all the thoughts that gush out of my head. So here we go -- some of my personal guilty pleasures.
Blood of Heroes (Movie)
Odds are, unless you're Mike, you've never heard of this fine cinematic gem. (I'm betting Mike has seen it. Am I wrong?) It's sort of a post-apocalyptic Bad News Bears except that, instead of baseball, they play a game where someone tries to put a dog skull on a stake while avoiding getting the living crap beat out of them by very large men holding blunt objects. Yes, a dog skull on a stake. It stars Joan Chen and Rutger Hauer, who, as in Blade Runner, is giving off some incredibly charismatic sexy vibes. Yes, Rutger Hauer. No, I am not off my rocker.
80's Music
It's a bit too dependent on synthesizers. Overly bubbly. And soooo cheesy. (We won't mention the wardrobes and hair, hmm?) And yet, I love my 80's music. From hair bands to Depeche Mode, I dig it all. I dig the cheesy XTC, the overproduced pop of Duran Duran, the spectacle of Def Leppard. And you kids today can take your overproduced hip hop dance music crap... I'll dance along to Madonna and glory in it. Now that woman knows how to write a pop tune!
While You Were Sleeping (Movie)
The plot is thin and the premise unbelievable. The only things this movie has going for it are an incredible likeable cast, especially Sandra Bullock at her appealing, girl-next-door best. But I love it. I watch it every year. I think the romance is so much fun to watch, the characters so amazingly appealing, the jokes funny. Plus it was partially filmed in my hometown (LaGrange, Illinois).
Nora Roberts (Author)
Ah, Nora Roberts. You've seen her books, of course. She's bitingly classified as "women's literature," so odds are you've been too embarrassed to read her books. But I'm here to tell you that Nora Roberts knows how to write a good yarn. Oh, some of her stuff is throwaway, and she tends to favor stock characters for much of what she produces so very quickly. But her more ambitious works are well-written, exhaustively researched, and engrossing. I dare you to read Northern Lights (a nuanced and original romantic suspense novel set in Alaska) and not enjoy it. C'mon, I dare ya.
Zombie movies
Yup, I love 'em. Oh, and not the "classics." I love the modern updates. Not just 28 Days Later or Shawn of the Dead, in which most people can find something to admire, but also Resident Evil (and even worse, Resident Evil 2) and the updated Dawn of the Dead. Yup, I stand here, proud to say... I dig 'em. I like watching society disintegrate, and seeing the reactions of those who survive. I like contemplating my own survival skills (minimal, but at least I am prepared with the Zombie Survival Guide, which is more than you have). How would I defend my own home against zombies? Yup. This is the way my mind works. Scary, isn't it?
80's John Hughes Movies
Say what you want about the stock roles of the characters, and the forced romances. The outdated stereotypes ("Long Duck Dong?") that are now cringe-worthy. And, of course, that Duckie *really* should have gotten the girl. Pretty in Pink and the superior Some Kind of Wonderful (where the best friend DOES get the one s/he loves) are marvelous romantic comedies, and The Breakfast Club is still the best movie made about high school and the roles we conform to there.
Romantic Comedies (Books)
Yup. I read 'em. Not the bodice rippers. The kind where a cartoon woman falls flat on her face on the cover. I love 'em, at least the well-written ones. I read Jennifer Crusie and early Janet Evanovich and laugh at loud at airports. I dig the chemistry, the pratfalls, the weird coincidences. I love romance, and I love to laugh, and the best romantic comedies are full of well-drawn characters and sharp dialogue that keeps me in stitches.
ABBA (Music)
Yeah, ABBA. I own ABBA Gold. And I love it. The cheeriness, the danceability, the cheesiness factor, the sheer 70's of it all. I dig it. I am unashamed. I LOVE singing along with ABBA. And so do you. You just don't admit it.
Beauty & the Geek (TV)
Yup. I watch some reality TV. And not Amazing Race or Survivor, which are somehow forgiveable. I LOVE the cheesy "we're all alike on the inside" atmosphere of Beauty & the Geek. I love looking at people who've developed totally different sides of themselves, and watch them get to know someone they'd never talk to on the outside. I LOVE watching nerds learn about beauty products and beautiful women learn about bottle rockets. And I always, always cry at the end when the beauty and geek who are leaving talk about how much they've learned from each other. Cheesy, sure. Isn't that point of a guilty pleasure?
Stephen King's The Stand
Part of my obsession with zombie-related stuff is that I love the whole idea of a post-apocalyptic world. What happens to us, as people, if we have to make impossible decisions? What happens to morality as society shuts down? What will we do to survive? And I absolutely love King's The Stand. Oh, literary types poo-poo Stephen King, but the man knows how to write a good story, and The Stand is a great post-apocalyptic yarn. (By the way, Robert MacCammon's The Swan is another great post-apocalyptic yarn, although not quite as guilty a pleasure.) I read this book at least once a year, and have honestly read it so often that when I ran across a copy of the original abridged version, I read it just to see where the cuts were made. And then I could tell where all of them were. Yup. I dig me some "Stand."
Jim Steinman (Songwriter)
Yup. That Jim Steinman. The man behind Meatloaf's Bat Out of Hell. Over-the-top hits by Bonnie Tyler like "Total Eclipse of the Heart" and "Holding Out for a Hero." And yup, even Celine Dion (It's All Coming Back to Me Now). It's over the top, overly-dramatic cheese, and I LOVE it.
Zebra Cakes
They're completely artificial crap. And I can eat an entire box in one sitting. Which is why I don't buy them. They're my only real food guilty pleasure, but oh, are they a good one! Creamy center, yummy yellow cake, all covered in overly sweet icing that has me licking my fingers and reaching for more. Yummmmmm!
So, how 'bout some confessions here. What's your guilty pleasure?
