I have been just living the paswt 11 years in a small little world where I really don't exist. I merely just had sex which wasn't really loving and had 2 children and one miscarriage. I love my children very much but their father has many issues. ( he is an alcoholic)Trying to come out of it though. Tough going though. Right now my friends and family stand by me 110% whatever I choose to do. I am not saying I am perfect. Because I am far from it. I try to do the right things for the ones that I love, but it always seems like my best isnt good enough. They are always telling me that I need to look after myself too. You know I take care of myself just not mentally. My friends are trying very hard to boost my spirits so that I might try to find myself back and be the happy go lucky girl I once was. To my friends I am very grateful... Especially the ones who are really really close. I thank them for helping me in many more ways than one... Sometimes I feel like I am just a lost cause the way my husband at times words things and does the looks when he don't approve of what I am doing. I try hard to fight back but no energy left. Its gone... I pray to God to take him away, just for a little while and make hime see what I feel , and hear and see what is going on in my world. I am invisible to my son he dont listen to me and dont care. But yet my daughter loves me to no end but has her moments. I hurt a lot lately but AI hope to find my self confidence back and me as a whole. Thanx for listening you have been a wonderful audience.
