Today I had to go in for personal trials. Had to get up early for this also. Knowing today wasnt going to be a good one because of the dreams I had the night before had come true. The kids got up good and got off to school. My friend took me to the doctor and everything went well only because she was there to help me through things that I couldnt do myself. When we go back I had to go on a bus run. So I went. I got a phone call soon after asking me if it was ok for my soon to be ex to be there with his parents so he could get some of his stuff. I told her yes, thinking and praying that he would be gone when I got back but to my surprise he was still there and wanting to see the children. I let him stay for a bit but it was my understanding that his parents were going to come back and pick him up and well I ended up taking him back to where he came from. He so tried to use the kids against me one more time and I just couldnt stop crying. I had to stop the car on the way home just so I could pull myself together. He made me feel like I was the one who made everything bad in our marriage and I know that its not me its all him... But yet he still gets to me in my dreams. The hitting and punching he did to me, and of course I did it back to him because I needed to feel that back, just so maybe he wouldnt do it anymore boy was I wrong on that one. Its came back twice as bad. I used to have bruises from hell. It has not been the best marriage. I got two great kids out of it but the rest was just all a shame. I need to finish this later guys. Sorry I need to sleep for a bit then I will finish this one.
