Yes all you have read it correctly no sooner the the divorced finalized from my evil ex-bitch she sent me some emails.
before you read the clips of email that she sent me let me give you a little back info. When you see the name Andy she is speaking about her boyfriend/ 1st cousin. Yes i said her FIRST COUSIN.
their is alot of stuff running threw my head at the moment. If you didnt figure out that i am seeing Andy. dont ask i dont know it just happened.
now i know what feels so wrong about me and andy i cant say what but for some reason
i worked things out with andy and we are getting married june 1st. so i decided to go ahead and tie the not a 3rd and final time.
Ok Now that you have read that let me give you the rest of the story. On June 1st of this year me the evil ex split up. So after looking back long on things I now know who she was fucking when we split up. And i mean talk about backwards ass almost sister fuckin freaks. I mean i have done some weird shit in my life but this beats all. Whats bad is some of her family seems to be just fine and the other part that actually has something to do with me is just fucking mind blown. I had to about damn near die laughing and then i had to start telling the whole fucking world. Proof that in the last marriage my god i found the queen of crazy shit.
Which brings me to my new rules for women :
If they are from Tennessee run like hell.
If they have family in Tennessee run like a muther fucker.
Live in Sin fuck the institution of marriage.
Take me as is or go fuck yourself.
Tell me the truth - every time - even if no one else knows you once experimented with other women.
If they are 35 and have not been married and have no kids that bitch has some serious issues stay the fuck away.
If she collects a crazy check DUH muther fucker nuff said.
if she tells you i have been getting foodstamps for the past 5 years run like the fucking wind.
If you have a beat up POS truck and they call it all fancy and new Run forrest Run.
If they spell KAT and DAWG as so run they aint even made it out of grammer school.
If they tell you well i had to stopping sharing a bed with my brother when i started my period. HOLY SHIT RUN RUN RUN
If they consider higher education high school RUN RUN RUN RUN
SHE FUCKS HER COUSIN
If she 20 and when goes to give you head she has to pull out her dentures.
If you dont know thier name and you ask then if they wanna fuck and you do hit it and run.
If they feel the need to wear thier sunday clothes to mcdonalds for a date run jesus h christ run man.
SHE FUCKS HER COUSIN
ok these are the rules for now but the big news of the day the Crazy Evil-Ex Bitch is to Marry her 1st Cousin.
Later All
Oh yeah side note for what i consider weird shit :
getting a tazer gun used on you as forplay " this one is a tough call "
actually trying car battery, jumper cables and the boys " didnt really like this one"
strangle me til i almost nod out " i recommend this one it fucking kicks ass SHOOT LIKE A CANNON"
suspended from peircings and getting a blow job " Out Fucking Standing "
Having a knife used during sex not to bad " course this leads to wanting to move up to gun play yes live ammo "
having the girl clock the living fuck out of you while having sex " actually not to bad"
tried the piss the woman while having sex " did not like grossssss ewwww"
Earned my Blood Wings with comabt clusters " yes i hate that pussy while it bleed and the combat clusters were the chunks. Im a dedicated soldier "
Loves to toss that Salad " yes i lick womens assholes but i am picky about which assholes i lick and it drives them nuts. "
i aint listing all the light weight sex shit i coudl go on for hours " yes i was a slut puppy when i was younger "
Things Chris Wont Do And Women Have Tried to Talk Him Into:
Anything put into my asshole and there is a long list " hell no i aint a homo "
yep thats the pretty much off limits thing
Things on my Still to do list :
Have sex in a church while services are going on " yes i can be a little weird "
Join the ranks of the Mile High Club " yes for some od reason i wanna fuck in an airplane in midflight "
Fuck in a Glass Elevator in a mall " yeah i want everyone to see me naked "
Gunplay " yes having a loaded pistol aimed at your head with one in the chamber has some thrill appeal "
If you have any ideas on things to try i will gladly add to my to do list if they sound like fun or a good thrill
