lordzelic's blog: "LORD ZELICS Thoughts"

OK this is one of those time that i just need to unload to the world. My best friend ( we have been friends since the 8th grade ) Dan called me back today after i left him a message. So i was updating him on all of the life events and everything that had happened since we had seen each other which was my last wedding he was my best man. Note to self dont let Dan be anyone best man again lol joking. We have been there for each other thru the thick and the thin. and not only my weight. But i spilled a good chuck of what had happened. And like any good friend he gave me shit over getting beat up by a girl. Which as Dan said i could toss like a rag doll if i wanted. But then he jumped my ass for not calling and asking for help if anything from him. And like i told him i had gotten me and Christopher into the mess that i was in and i was getting us out of it. So then we proceeded to discuss women in the usual manner men do. Or at least for ones ending a marriage as all good friends do :) I suppose women do the same for each other. But honestly i have never thought to ask so i assume. Which yes i know when you assume things you make an ASS out of U and ME. None the less i had a good conversation with him but the hard part is when you hear your godson is getting ready to turn 15. Damn was it really that long ago. But also Dan and Marri have been married for 15 years now. It only seems like yesterday that Marri was pissed cause Dan was hanging out with me. But over the years as we aged Marri and I also became friends. But as i was saying the hard part is when your best friend has been married 15 years and i add up all 3 of mine and it was only 7 years. It makes you wonder why was i the one to get the shitty wives. But i am also to blame in that one i am not going to let fate take all of the fall for that one. My ass married them i believe it is mainly my fault...... well ok all of it. Dan is a friend that can harass ya and make ya laugh no matter what but i have done the same for him over the years. Even when we were stationed all over the world we have stayed in touch or found each other. There have been times before my kids which are my main reason to never give up. As i was saying he never let me forget to look up and see the horizon. As i have done for him. His 15 years married have not been the best but not the worst. And we will be friends until they day they drag our asses to the graveyard. And which ever one of drops first the other is sure to give him shit about checking out first. Well now for the other thing to unload had to talk to the ex today still not the easiest thing as i still harbor alot of anger and resentment against her. Hell if you have read my other blogs you would understand why. I do get a little satisfaction when she hints at us getting back together and i tell her very plainy and clearly NO. In fact truth be told i have told her hell no a few times. I hope she has realized where she messed up maybe she can change, i dout it but i do try to see the best in people. Yes i do consider that a fault at times because on more than one occasion i have been taken advatage for it. But you know what oh well that is who i am period that wont change. Like i was saying i talked to her and got her to agree to go to the lawyers office and sign the paperwork. I am doing as my lawyer told me be nice and polite until the papers are signed. Then i can be an ass if i want. I will be so happy once i see those papers signed then i will know for sure at that point that life can move on for me. There is i slight pain in me that just keeps screaming how could i have been such a fool. Not seen what was going on. I honestly do not have an answer to those questions. Maybe someday i will or it may take someone looking from the outside to point it out. But as far as i know there are only a few people that I know that have any idea of what happened over the last year or two. So anyone with comments would be helpful unless they are just crap then i can delete them haha. At the end of the day its just me sitting watch my son sleep and trying to figure out where to go in life next. I know that sounds pretty messed up 33 and dont know where you are going in life. But I do have a plan as with many plans they change along the way so i just had to create a new plan. There are still hopes and dreams thrown into the plans still but at the same time i am a realist. I am not going to be a billionaire - who cares anyway right oh wait the ex wife did I am not going to make a crap load of money in a smaller town - once again who cares i have lived all over the world and in big citys and small town, and i am happy around here. I will make it in life - and will make a good life for my son i will be all around happy again one day - thats a hope I would rather have 5 good friends rather than a crappy wive I would rather have a few best friends in life than 100 ok friends I am happier making the money i do now then when i made 75000 a year - once again who cares as long as the bills are paid and ya got food a side note about the amount you make a year the more you make the more you spend, also the more fake people hang around you. I hated that crap people only wanted to be friends cause i made the cash. and one last thought for the night and this may freak some people out but, one of my friends is determined that i need to have my nipples re-pierced. I dont know where i am at on this one yet. Part of me worries that i am trying to be young again or it is some way to rebel against the norm. But hell i have 8 tattoos and always looking for the next. Now i will say i am not going to be a tattoo from head to toe and everyone of them on my body means something. Thats one of those you will have to ask and i will explain about them. Then again i also have to ask myself how many nice women would run for the hills when they fimd out you used to have nipple rings and my get them again. Of course who would know unless they see me with my shirt off ( damn its a scary sight). Which means i may be asking opinions of freinds around me. Dan already rang in his vote of what in the hell woudl you want to do that again muchless the first time. I had to laugh because in high school everyone thought dan was going to turn out like i have and that i would have gone the path he did. but anywho it is 2 am and i better get some sleep got to wake up in 3-4 hours then again i may stay up no telling with me. later all

How to tackle these subjects and discuss them because most times they can all be wrapped into one person. If you are lucky in life you have more than one person that you decribe these things to. I am lucky enough to have some in my life. Now let me say this first and foremost I dont want anyone to become offended if you are not named as one of those that have all three traits. If you dont then oh well we have not known each other long enough or you are just not going to get to that part of me so live with it. TRUST - this is something that is very important to me once i start trusting someone it is very important to me. If I tell you that i trust you dont take it as just another word. It is domething that is not given easily but once earned is a big deal to me. But once you have betrayed that trust you are just plain ol fucked the chance of you earnign that trust again is pretty much fucken gone ass proven by 3 ex wives and countless ex friends. I also have to say if I name anyone in these traits it is in no particular order so please dont get pissy like i am putting people at different levels. Daniel, Amy, Josette, Mark, Mom, Grandma, Dad, Chuck as you can tell you all are on the short list and some are family members but not all of my family. I also must state that these are the people that have my complete and udder trust. CARING - Now caring there are some different levels with in this one, There are once again multiple family members that i care about that i am not going to list cause well i have a big family and no matter how big of fuckups they are in life i will always care some for them as i was raised to have song family values. Then there is the list of people that are friends that i care about and woudl do about damn near anythign for to help them or be there for them. These are the ones that i care about enough that i would help bury a body and not say a word lol. If you are on this list well hell if you are a friend you should know if you are on this list. Then there is the third level of caring. This level is still not that one word but the feelings are strong and it is hard to admit and does scare me to put this out here for fear of being hurt again. There are two people that are in my life that are at this level the first is Daniel because thou all the years and all the shit he hasd always been there for me. I can say to me he is closer then most family now he wont hold back and he will tell me to stop whining but he is my best friend has been for a long time and will be for a bunch more. Unless he tries to clock out before me then you can expect to hear me cussing him in the funeral home. And of course i would hope the same from him. Then the second person that is iin my life I have been able to talk about anything without worry that she will look at me different. She also cares enough to accept me as i am or atleast i think. And i can say that i do care to accept her as is no changes needed. I can honestly say that i could reference her also as a best friend. Those that have not been close to me lately probably have no clue who i am talking about so i will spell it out for ya. Mainly cause i dont want her to think i am hiding her from anyone in my life and we have gotten to the point to just admit things. Amy is someone that is on an extremely short list. Freindship - once again different levels as i discussed previously as they all do tie in together. I have friends that are just that friends i would be hurt if they passed or were no longer in my life, but honestly i would get over it. Then there are the friends that if i lost part of me woudl be lost as they have been in my life for a long time. Then those are also the friends that i would miss until it was time for me to check out. But i am not going to list my friends and the level that they fall into. If you think you are a part of me then ask i will honestly answer but dont be hurt if it is not want you think i should answer. A few people should know the answer without having to ask but if you have the need just to make sure please feel free. one last note to be able to achieve all of the listed things above you are very special to me and to be honest all of the ex wives could never achieve all three things at the same time. To be my friend have my total trust in you and to care about you is a very rare and special person. To speak even more in detail to care unconditionally that is the highest way that i know to care about someone. There are only a few 2 are my parents, my 2 kids and 2 of my friends. Like i said a shirt list. Later All

This is prompted because of people perceptions or should i say misperceptions about people the one that i am hitting are based off of self experiance so please feel free in comments to add more. Because He Is A Soldier This one always sends me off the deep end. Just because i am trained to do things that most people could not have the stomach or the fucken nuts to do I must be a heartless violent fuck. Well guess the fuck what you are wrong. Yes i will admit every once in awhiile a crazy ass fucker makes it into the military which is where i think this idea comes from. Yes just like any other person i can have a temper but christ almighty i am human just like you. Just because i know that i can place a shoot in a 1 inch circle 1 1/2 miles away does not mean i am going to use that skill on anything other than a deer. Yes as a combat soldier the military teaches you to tap into that primal and more violent side that is in every single person but i also must say they also teach you have to turn it off. Just because someone has the knowledge and ability to go to level most of you would like to pretend that you are not capable does not make me bad or just so violent. And if i was so bad then i woudl not be writing this and there would be a few people in the hospital. Oh thats right they aint so i guess i am not that bad then so all of you that think i am just a violent fuck, Fuck You , you go serve your country and do things that are just unthought of by most men then come fucken talk to me until then carry your fucken asses. Because I Am Now A Cop This one is more of a running joke those close to me know what all goes on around me but yet as of late I am now an MP in the guard so Iam a Cop get a good laugh everyone that knows me well enough. And for one privliaged indivdual that likes reading my shit and it aint his business step in with a cop and see what happens. Because I Have Tattoos This one seems to get on my nerves also. I knew when i got mt first tat that some might look down about it but what the hell my dad has them, my grandfathers have them and so on. It was in the begining more of a right of passage once going in the military. I must also state that i can tell you in detail what every one of them on my body means and where i was in my life and the world. What eats at me is people who jump right to " OH you have been in jail". Give me a fucken break i have good money invested in my shit they dont look like crap and were all done by professionals. Then of course there are those that think i am less intelligent for having tats. Litte hint of information last time i tested on a real IQ test i hit 177. So needless to say i am not some dumb mutherfucker. And if you really have a problem with my tats then shut the fuck up i am not trying to force you to get one Ya fucken close minded morons. Because I Am A Geek Yep i am a geek and damn proud of it this seems to be one of the biggest misperceptions by people. Once again if you know me well then you know i look nothing nor act like a geek except when you want to have an intelligent conversation. I know a ton of people that are geeks yet everyone want to jusmp to this picture they have in there head how they should look and act. Guess what you might be one to so be careful before you judge others. Because I Live In The South Just because of where i live some people jump right to the assumtion that we are all backward fucks down here. Guess what you are way off base there are alot of good peple in the south just as much as in the north. The only difference between the two is this the sound of the voice in some cases and the use of words. And just to get something else out of the way. As i have lived all over the United States the most racist places to live are up north plain and simple and it aint only whites not liking other colors. Seems like racism is running rampent up there seems like 80 % of the peopl up there hate some group of people for some bullshit reason. I had some other ideas that i dont feel like sharing at the moment but everyone needs to stop jumping to assumptions and get a fucken life and go out and get to know people before you judge them.

Ok today i am some shit to unload so here it fucking goes. Yesterday or monday i cant remember which the evil ex bitch comes to my office but they know to stop her down stairs annd dont tell me she is even there becuase well they have seen my reaction to her. To me she is the devil incarnate. That lying, backstabbing fucking cum sucking slut whore fucken god damn bitch peice of shit my she rot in hell. If you have not guessed i dont like the fucken slut. Besides finding out that the last year of my marriage was a fucking joke and just lies so i could be kept around just to pay bills i also found out that she had been fucking around on me. And all the while telling our friends that i beat here and that iwas fucking around on her. Now give me a fucken break. I seperated myself from my family for that whore I seperated myself from my friends for that bitch I was working from fucking home the only time i was not home was when i went somewhere with her I was not allowed to go by myself. I actually had turned in my resignation letter into the military and handed in my rank as an officer and walked away from it for her. I finally broke and told her some of my deepest secrets and she looked at my like i was fucking nuts and then made fun of me about it. I took her beating the living god damn fuck out oof me on god damn normal basis. I took me and my son being treated like second class citizens in that household. All becaus e i lpooved that fucken bitch. Not again the bitch will not get into my heart azgain. No i am not going to lie i do get pissed when i talk about it but dont mistake it for hurt or love. This is pure fucking anger and that is all it is anymore i am done hurting over that bitch and refuse to anymore. The that god damn slut after all those things send s a fucking email toiday and tellme how much she still care for me YOU GOD DAMN LYING SLUT WHORE FUCKING BITCH GET A GOD DAMN CLUE. I have never wanted to just knock the living shit out of a woman and i was raised different. But hitting her just once might get this out of my system but I WILL NOT BE THAT TYPE OF PERSON OR LOWER MYSELF TO HER. And as my title says it all in the end all of the lies that she told me and everyone else is what tore me apart and left me a wreck. Now i must also say this after i had gotten over self pity I got back to all the things that she had seperated me from. And the real me came back. I have had to apoligize to some ppl for being a fucken dumbass along the way and thank the good lord i have good friends that understand and were glad to see that i woke up. Now along all this time I have made new friends and joke with them all the time. Now some of them have read my blogs and some have ideas of what happened over the last 2 years almost 3 if you include the time i was dating the bitch. Then i found a friend that gave me truth all of it no matter what it was. This person all accepts me and all of my truth. I have even told her somethign that i did not tell the evil ex bitch until we had been married awhile. Now she has not asked all of the details about this thing and i am not going to lie if you dont ask i am not one to normally volunteer because it is my demon to live with my repentence to god for what i have done in my past. But as i was saying i told her and she accepted me as is still has not looked bad at me in any way. As she explained that is in my past and so be it. Now this friend ok ill say it *** has become my best friend obviously i could tell her a deep and buried secret.But she became a best friend that i feel i could have told this to anyway before some other things happening and she woulod have still accepted it. Then it grew from there and feeling started to emerge. Along with those feeelings were fear the fear of getting hurt again but those were at first. And in reality most of the time my blogs are a few days behind what i am feeling just takes me some day to discuss except for today. I have faced my fear and it is still there a little only because I have gone and fllen for ***. Now this is not a surprise to her at all. She knows how i feel. In fact I can now tell her that I love her and get a goofy smile when i say it just like i am probably doing right now. And when she tells me I Love You well i get a big goofy smile and all the bad of the day just fades away. Once again proof that you give me truth above all then that is eomthing truly wonderful. Becuase i have found a best friend that is also so much more to me. I would be lost without her. Now dont get me wrong i can still function with out her. But life is so much better with her. And we are taking things slow probably slower than anyone could figure but neither of us want to rush into anything. Although right now if we were a block from each other i am pretty sure both of us would start runnign the direction of the other. But that is just me thinking. Any way like i said there are a list of reasons why I Love ***. And well some i dont care to discuss in here because well they are fucking personal if i aint talking to you about them then dont fucking ask. Anywho I know *** reads this and i have to say sorry for unloading on you earlier baby and I Love You. Later all oh yeah if you think i call you a best friend then you know that you can ask me more questions of not then dont even fucking bother i aint going to answer you.

Ok tonights discussion is not for the faint of heart or those that only will ever be able to qualify as just as a shitty fuck. I am talking about the 3 types of sex yes i break it down into only the the three categories and you will soon see why. So lets begin............................ JUST PLAIN OL FUCKIN This is just what it seems you stick that pussy with your dick and you go. Now if you are skilled at this you will be able to get the woman to orgasm at least one time but you can pound the hell out of it and you use a little foreplay. Now dont get me wrong everyone has done this and still does it cause well there are times that just a good ol fuck is needed and welcomed. Like i said this is the first type of sex but be forewarned if this is all you know how to do i am truly sorry for you and your ego. NUMERO TWO MAKING LOVE............ This is the kind of sex where there is a deep emotional bond orgasms here can be achieved not only quicker but they are stronger and can occur more than once. This is also where i lump in romance baecause it is a part and i feel is needed. This can be some of the most wonderful and enjoyable sex. This can keep your partner happy for a lifetime and may get you talked about a little. ________________________________________________________ NUMBER THREE LAYING PIPE LIKE A MUTHER FUCKER This is the greatest ability that many men claim but as far as i can tell from experiance few can achieve. First if you have eaten pussy and you dont have scars under your tongue then dont even try to compete and you dont know how to lay pipe this occurs after you have eaten pussy for more than 2 hours straight and you generally will have a woman begging for the dick and quivering. If you do it well enough you can actually have a woman climbing a wall cause she just aint had that pussy eat so good. And yes before you ask i have done thos a few times. Second this is not only sticking the dick and eating the pussy this is where the whole body becomes a sexual tool not only yours but hers and you must be aware of all the areas on a woman that are turn on point and what to do. Third you have to know how to use that dick men if you cant move them hips in different directions and how to get that dick to go deeper and hit places never hit before then once again you are out of the race. The final part to this is if in the end you can not say " I stand in awe of myself as she quivers and shakes uncontrolably " and also she must either call you god, referance your name and god in the same sentance or scream OH GOD so many times you lose count. Then you have not achieved this goal also if you ask your sexual partner if you can lay pipe like a muther fucker and dont get a quick response of ooooooo yeah. then your just being lyed to and if there is even a bit of hesitation then you have not done it right my son. Just so that we are clear i have asked and I can achieve all three items when i want to and i always work to improve cause well there is always room. But i also must state that i have eaten pussy for 4 hours to just to prove a point. enough said Later all

For a long time i have always had the ability to read people just by simply looking into thier eyes or shaking thier hand. I dont consider this a special ability but more of attention to detail and understanding people and basic psych 101. The biggest point in case that i can pull off the top of my head. The first time i meet my last ex-wife i knew that she had an affair on her ex-husband not once but twice. Now it took a while for me to dig this info out of her but she had. When someone is talking to me i dont even have to look at them generally to know of they are lying but if i look them in the eyes i will always no for dead sure. Your eyes can not lie unless you have been trained. Then that requires that you trained at the farm or were in training from those at the farm. It does take a lot of skill and practice to make your eyes lie. I will not go into why i know those things just go with me that 99% of the world does not have this skill. The other big tip off to a lie is the change in behavoir. If out of the blue some change occurs and there is not presentable reason as to why this occured then you are looking possibly at a lie. Now i also along the way have learned how to be the human lie detector which includes flexuations of speech. But i also must say that right off the bat i was told not to use these skills on your loved ones for 2 reasons. The first is well you may learn something you really just dont want to know. The second reason is that you can misread signs as you have emotions mixing in with everything. Now if you have the ability to shut everything down inside and close off all feelings and handle it like any other questioning of someone then more power to you. But i also have always had the gut feelings that are never wrong i have just choosen on occasion not to listen to them. Now as i have gotten older and by no means am i really calling myself old. I have learned to be more honest with myself and the need at times to shut everything down and look at everything as a third party to truly give me a different perspective. I am not saying this is something easy and i will not say that i have always been successful otherwise when i first knew in my gut the the last ex wife was messing around on me i would have acted. Instead i choose to ignore for the hope that it would get better. Which led me to why i choose not to hide anything what so ever from some people. Thigs that can come back to bite me in the ass. Because in all reality opposite of what some may think i am not really that much of a lovable person. I am set in my ways what can i say i have pretty much been in the military of some sort for the last 16 years. Now ther are things that have clouded my judgement but i will not divulge those as they are a weakness that some have used against me in my past. Which my past does play a part in who i am and who i will always be. Only a handful of people truly accept me for me as a whole package. I understand that because i know that i can be an asshole at times. At other times i can be a total fucking prick. Other times i come off as a loud mouth egotical overbearing SOB. These are things i know about myself and i am willing to admit because unless you are willing to admit your faults as well as your strengths you will not be successful in life. But these also lead to understanding of one self which is not always the most comfortable things to do. Admiting when you know how much of an emotional wreck you are is not always the easiest thing. Knowing that about one self may make a relationship better and easier can also make you doubt or worry about things more so than most people. Of course you must be willing to admit these things to others that you want to let in. Of course letting someone in is not always the easiest thing either. There is constant self doubt of is your judgement clouded or are you seeing it all clearly. You hope that you see everything as clear and direct as it is. But yet you have such storng fears that you can tear yourself apart ot is scary. The fears in a persons life are determined by what he has faced and overcome. I can say that i have faced and overcome a buch of fears in life. There are a few that are left and i am sure you can guess one or two. There are others that i will not share period. There are things I have done in life that i am not proud of but i did them. Now when you tell people these things do you tell them just the basic idea or do you give details. I am a detail type person about a lot of things. Obviously english and spelling are not are damn care in the world. But do you give up the details. Could you be a monster that no one would want a damn thing to do with. This is something that my father fought for years and i think he still does from his time overseas. While i was in the service i tried to equal the honor my father served which led to signing up fo things that well may not have been the best choice in life but someone had to do them. I am not going to say i was just a tool because the reality of it is that at one point i truly looked forward to doing those tasks. If admitting that shits on things then so be it but it is the truth. As the truth can sometimes hurt and destroy peoples feelings and thoughts it can also be freeing. Because if you give all of the truth and no deception no hiding no lying no need to obfuscate events and you are accpted then great. But everytime you decide do i tell everything that rattles around in my skull you edge closer to rejection or hatred. I have always tried to be absolute in my beliefs and in my life but it is hard sometimes. Some of my beliefs have changed as the years have gone by and i have walked a mile in those shoes. But i stand on the fact as to why i changed my opinons. but back to where i had started i also know without someone saying something when they want to say something or are thinking something but are afraid to say what it is. Just spill it all you might be surprised i have in life some people accept you as is for everything. But when you begin to hide things and the other person believes you are hiding things then mistrust begins to grow as a seed has been planted. Now this seed it not always born out of self knowledge but from input of others. These seeds can be very dangerous at times, because if they are not removed but just simply ignored they can start to grow. As you ignore it further it grows more and when you can no longer ignore these things it is to late it has grown to big to get around. .................................................... but i must also state that pure and simple truth kills those seeds befor ehtye even get a chance to take root. ok now im done

Things That Are Just To Funny Today 1. Some proof that my brother has actually had sex some time in the last two years lmao 29 and damn near a virgin again 2. When the girlfriends ex read your blogs and get pissed about what is said. Like its your fucken bussiness ya damn moron. 3. Got the where is the any key question today. LMAO i still about die laughing when i hear these. 4. Yes men scrach thier balls when they itch. That and well our dick is one of our best friends. 5. No something is not wrong with my shirt its my nipple rings, and yes my nipples are hard most of the time because this is the 4th time they have been pierced. 6. Yes i am an asshole, dick head, and mother fucker like these are things i have not said about myself. 7. No i talk about the military stuff all the time because i did not serve and still am not serving. Big fucken hint if i am still running operations then guess what. I am still in duhhhhhhhhhh. 8. I am teaching the class on sexual harassment and EO which i am a nightmare for any command for these cause i cuss in real life more then i do here LOL. Fuck he is teaching the class. 9. Yes thats my son DUH he looks just like me, acts like me and is just as anal about shit. quote from my son " if you dont clean you plate you dont get seconds " LOL i am so proud of him. I even have him folding his underwear part of the time now.hehehe 10. No i dont want him to go in the military, let me see big hint he has his own uniforms, he can march, and he woudl make west pointers sweat on how he can be about things. 11. Where in the hell does all that lint come from that ends up in my belly button. Shit i shower 2 times a day and wear clean clothes yet it shows up all the time.

OK here it is. What does that little piece of paper mean when it says you are leagally married? First off does it mean that your spouse is not going to cheat on you ? NO Does it mean that they are not going to rip your heart out ? NO now that is out of the way let me explain somethings that are true with or without that paper. Every morning when i wake and every night before i fall asleep i think of my love. thoughout the day i constantly think about her. When she says the simplest things i am instantly smiling when she tells me she loves me i get a goofy grin and this feeling that i just can not describe that she is my best friend and i can tell her anything and the same goes for her talking to me. That i have unconditional love for her i accept her as is as she does for me also that she completes me as a person and my soul without her i would be lost that i plan on being in her life for the rest of mine how ever long or short that may be. ( i am hoping fo the long part so i can irratate the shit out of her when im 100 ) that i see her eyes and i see a caring and loving and compassionate person that i could spend the rest of eternity with that i would not change a single thing about her nor would she want me to change that she always has the best timing to pick my spirits up that cute little sound she makes when she is sleeping it is just so damn cute the fact that even asleep we tell each other I LOVE YOU the fact that we both want to take our time now this is a short list as i am not good at explaining my feelings but i have all these things without marriage. Yes at some point i would hope that we are living with each other but that is not going to be next month give me a break. But does that mean we will love each other any more just because we are married no it does not. Would i give up my life for hers yes i would. None of these feelings will change this is not some whim of a thing. Becaus eof the distance it has forced us to get to know one another for the people that we are without the physical distractions that so many people let in the way of a relationship in the begining. And what some people would call the worst part which i do not see it as that but when i go to visit i dont care if all i get to do is hold her. Back on point i found thru 3 marriages that little piece of paper did not make things better, nor keep them from cheating, nor being abusive. If that is what happens when you get married to hell with it i will live in sin and be happy with living with my love. Hell i would even do the ring thing just to keep people away but in the end it is just a ring and that is for other people. So what i am saying is that I LOVE so much what woudl a silly piece of paper make better about it. Love You later all

Admit to the cold hard truth of life. The fact that a woman goes into a bar by herself and not meeting friends she is only looking to get laid period. Yes I have seen these women and some are nasty looking enough i would not fuck her with my buddies dick. But then there is the rare occasion. A drop dead hottie comes in and you better be playing the best game cause she only wants to get laid. These cases when i determine the person other half has done something you can play off of it or go straight for the kill. And ask " You Wanna Fuck?" and someof you may say oh hell no I would just slap you. But i can say from past experiance for every time i get slapped i got one wild ride. Of course these women are using you for a revenge fuck but if you are up to it "Be The Man" "Use the Force" " Get Some Muther Fucker" I must also point out that i have grown weary of meaningless sex as for fact it is just not as good. Nor that a man in a bar by himself sends the signal creepy, im a drunk, or im desperate. Other things people are not always willing to admit but it is the cold hard truth. Now knowing this thing that some woudl see as bad i can see the upside. I admit if I am gonna try to get laid I am not going by myself. But if I just want to throw down some beers and have a good time and shot some pool then this is the way to go no worries of women with baggage or issues I have enough of my own for christs sake. There is one exception to this and i have practiced it for many years now. What you do is pick a bar go into it after work 2 times a week for about a month. Dont get drunk just relax and bullshit with the people that work there and the owners get known. What this allows you to do when you walk in women will feel more safe if everyone there knows you. You then lose the look of creepy,drunk, and desperate. Plus you will have all of the staff to say you are not a drunk or weirdo. One other side note to this. The above instructions only work if you are a decent human being. If your a dickhead then your a dickhead. If your a drunk then your a drunk. No amount of pre-planning can help your ass out. later all

Yes all you have read it correctly no sooner the the divorced finalized from my evil ex-bitch she sent me some emails. before you read the clips of email that she sent me let me give you a little back info. When you see the name Andy she is speaking about her boyfriend/ 1st cousin. Yes i said her FIRST COUSIN. their is alot of stuff running threw my head at the moment. If you didnt figure out that i am seeing Andy. dont ask i dont know it just happened. now i know what feels so wrong about me and andy i cant say what but for some reason i worked things out with andy and we are getting married june 1st. so i decided to go ahead and tie the not a 3rd and final time. Ok Now that you have read that let me give you the rest of the story. On June 1st of this year me the evil ex split up. So after looking back long on things I now know who she was fucking when we split up. And i mean talk about backwards ass almost sister fuckin freaks. I mean i have done some weird shit in my life but this beats all. Whats bad is some of her family seems to be just fine and the other part that actually has something to do with me is just fucking mind blown. I had to about damn near die laughing and then i had to start telling the whole fucking world. Proof that in the last marriage my god i found the queen of crazy shit. Which brings me to my new rules for women : If they are from Tennessee run like hell. If they have family in Tennessee run like a muther fucker. Live in Sin fuck the institution of marriage. Take me as is or go fuck yourself. Tell me the truth - every time - even if no one else knows you once experimented with other women. If they are 35 and have not been married and have no kids that bitch has some serious issues stay the fuck away. If she collects a crazy check DUH muther fucker nuff said. if she tells you i have been getting foodstamps for the past 5 years run like the fucking wind. If you have a beat up POS truck and they call it all fancy and new Run forrest Run. If they spell KAT and DAWG as so run they aint even made it out of grammer school. If they tell you well i had to stopping sharing a bed with my brother when i started my period. HOLY SHIT RUN RUN RUN If they consider higher education high school RUN RUN RUN RUN SHE FUCKS HER COUSIN If she 20 and when goes to give you head she has to pull out her dentures. If you dont know thier name and you ask then if they wanna fuck and you do hit it and run. If they feel the need to wear thier sunday clothes to mcdonalds for a date run jesus h christ run man. SHE FUCKS HER COUSIN ok these are the rules for now but the big news of the day the Crazy Evil-Ex Bitch is to Marry her 1st Cousin. Later All Oh yeah side note for what i consider weird shit : getting a tazer gun used on you as forplay " this one is a tough call " actually trying car battery, jumper cables and the boys " didnt really like this one" strangle me til i almost nod out " i recommend this one it fucking kicks ass SHOOT LIKE A CANNON" suspended from peircings and getting a blow job " Out Fucking Standing " Having a knife used during sex not to bad " course this leads to wanting to move up to gun play yes live ammo " having the girl clock the living fuck out of you while having sex " actually not to bad" tried the piss the woman while having sex " did not like grossssss ewwww" Earned my Blood Wings with comabt clusters " yes i hate that pussy while it bleed and the combat clusters were the chunks. Im a dedicated soldier " Loves to toss that Salad " yes i lick womens assholes but i am picky about which assholes i lick and it drives them nuts. " i aint listing all the light weight sex shit i coudl go on for hours " yes i was a slut puppy when i was younger " Things Chris Wont Do And Women Have Tried to Talk Him Into: Anything put into my asshole and there is a long list " hell no i aint a homo " yep thats the pretty much off limits thing Things on my Still to do list : Have sex in a church while services are going on " yes i can be a little weird " Join the ranks of the Mile High Club " yes for some od reason i wanna fuck in an airplane in midflight " Fuck in a Glass Elevator in a mall " yeah i want everyone to see me naked " Gunplay " yes having a loaded pistol aimed at your head with one in the chamber has some thrill appeal " If you have any ideas on things to try i will gladly add to my to do list if they sound like fun or a good thrill