OK this is one of those time that i just need to unload to the world. My best friend ( we have been friends since the 8th grade ) Dan called me back today after i left him a message. So i was updating him on all of the life events and everything that had happened since we had seen each other which was my last wedding he was my best man. Note to self dont let Dan be anyone best man again lol joking. We have been there for each other thru the thick and the thin. and not only my weight. But i spilled a good chuck of what had happened. And like any good friend he gave me shit over getting beat up by a girl. Which as Dan said i could toss like a rag doll if i wanted. But then he jumped my ass for not calling and asking for help if anything from him. And like i told him i had gotten me and Christopher into the mess that i was in and i was getting us out of it. So then we proceeded to discuss women in the usual manner men do. Or at least for ones ending a marriage as all good friends do :) I suppose women do the same for each other. But honestly i have never thought to ask so i assume. Which yes i know when you assume things you make an ASS out of U and ME. None the less i had a good conversation with him but the hard part is when you hear your godson is getting ready to turn 15. Damn was it really that long ago. But also Dan and Marri have been married for 15 years now. It only seems like yesterday that Marri was pissed cause Dan was hanging out with me. But over the years as we aged Marri and I also became friends. But as i was saying the hard part is when your best friend has been married 15 years and i add up all 3 of mine and it was only 7 years. It makes you wonder why was i the one to get the shitty wives. But i am also to blame in that one i am not going to let fate take all of the fall for that one. My ass married them i believe it is mainly my fault...... well ok all of it.
Dan is a friend that can harass ya and make ya laugh no matter what but i have done the same for him over the years. Even when we were stationed all over the world we have stayed in touch or found each other. There have been times before my kids which are my main reason to never give up. As i was saying he never let me forget to look up and see the horizon. As i have done for him. His 15 years married have not been the best but not the worst. And we will be friends until they day they drag our asses to the graveyard. And which ever one of drops first the other is sure to give him shit about checking out first.
Well now for the other thing to unload had to talk to the ex today still not the easiest thing as i still harbor alot of anger and resentment against her. Hell if you have read my other blogs you would understand why. I do get a little satisfaction when she hints at us getting back together and i tell her very plainy and clearly NO. In fact truth be told i have told her hell no a few times. I hope she has realized where she messed up maybe she can change, i dout it but i do try to see the best in people. Yes i do consider that a fault at times because on more than one occasion i have been taken advatage for it. But you know what oh well that is who i am period that wont change. Like i was saying i talked to her and got her to agree to go to the lawyers office and sign the paperwork. I am doing as my lawyer told me be nice and polite until the papers are signed. Then i can be an ass if i want. I will be so happy once i see those papers signed then i will know for sure at that point that life can move on for me. There is i slight pain in me that just keeps screaming how could i have been such a fool. Not seen what was going on. I honestly do not have an answer to those questions. Maybe someday i will or it may take someone looking from the outside to point it out. But as far as i know there are only a few people that I know that have any idea of what happened over the last year or two. So anyone with comments would be helpful unless they are just crap then i can delete them haha.
At the end of the day its just me sitting watch my son sleep and trying to figure out where to go in life next. I know that sounds pretty messed up 33 and dont know where you are going in life. But I do have a plan as with many plans they change along the way so i just had to create a new plan. There are still hopes and dreams thrown into the plans still but at the same time i am a realist.
I am not going to be a billionaire - who cares anyway right oh wait the ex wife did
I am not going to make a crap load of money in a smaller town - once again who cares i have lived all over the world and in big citys and small town, and i am happy around here.
I will make it in life - and will make a good life for my son
i will be all around happy again one day - thats a hope
I would rather have 5 good friends rather than a crappy wive
I would rather have a few best friends in life than 100 ok friends
I am happier making the money i do now then when i made 75000 a year - once again who cares as long as the bills are paid and ya got food
a side note about the amount you make a year the more you make the more you spend, also the more fake people hang around you. I hated that crap people only wanted to be friends cause i made the cash.
and one last thought for the night and this may freak some people out but, one of my friends is determined that i need to have my nipples re-pierced. I dont know where i am at on this one yet. Part of me worries that i am trying to be young again or it is some way to rebel against the norm. But hell i have 8 tattoos and always looking for the next. Now i will say i am not going to be a tattoo from head to toe and everyone of them on my body means something. Thats one of those you will have to ask and i will explain about them. Then again i also have to ask myself how many nice women would run for the hills when they fimd out you used to have nipple rings and my get them again. Of course who would know unless they see me with my shirt off ( damn its a scary sight). Which means i may be asking opinions of freinds around me.
Dan already rang in his vote of what in the hell woudl you want to do that again muchless the first time.
I had to laugh because in high school everyone thought dan was going to turn out like i have and that i would have gone the path he did. but anywho it is 2 am and i better get some sleep got to wake up in 3-4 hours then again i may stay up no telling with me.
later all
