i am the laziest person on the face of the earth.
today.
not really but it feels that way when it past 1 and ive just managed to extract myself from bed.
i woke myself from the strangest dream. dun ask me why but ricky schroder was there trying out for a play. *shakes head* and not silver spoons ricky schroder...nypd blue 'rick' schroder. sorry dude. you're always gonna be ricky. deal.
and here i sit rambling about dreams in order to avoid...other things...cuz lets face it...im really good at avoidance...and the whole 'duck and run' thing..cuz its been my way of life...for quite awhile.
i keep typo-ing cuz im not quite awake yet.
see the whole changing the subject again thing? yeah.
i think maybe im just incapable of putting everything into the right words...and perspective. perspective is important. cuz its really quite easy to let yourself get..'sucked in' for lack of a better term...its much harder to keep your feet on the ground...well for me anyway...i dont really know why...i suppose it all stems back to the whole 'hope' thing...or something...i dont know...my D knows dammit. n thats pretty much all i need. just one person that completely understands me...when im incapable of understanding and expressing myself.
where is she?
i need her.
my brain is a mess...and i dont know how to untangle it without help. mess isnt the right word. its more like a ball of string. and while the ball is wrapped neatly...sometimes theres a knot in it. so yes. a knot. theres a knot...and i cant get around it...i cant think around it...cuz its just...there...staring me right in the face...and i really need the ability to be able to accomplish something and i really cant at this particular moment.
and then im back at perspective. detachment. perhaps with a little geogrpahy thrown in there. i dont know.
good thing children are occupying themselves.
and that is all.
