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CrazyFrog37's blog: "Jokes"

created on 05/06/2007  |  http://fubar.com/jokes/b80258

Driving Test

A young man had just passed his driving test and he asked his father if he could use the family car. His father said, “ on one condition – that you first get your hair cut.” The young man wondered what he could say to persuade his father that long hair was okay. Then he had a brain- wave. He said, “ But Dad! A lot of great men had long hair. What about the people in the Bible? Samson had long hair and Moses had long hair and even Jesus had long hair!” His father answered, “ Yes and everywhere they went, they walked!” ******** A man told his barber he was thinking of going to Rome to see the Pope. However, the barber was rather discouraging. “ That’d be expensive! And when you got there, you’d probably find the hotel was some run – down old place. And you couldn’t be sure you’d see much of the Pope, either. You could end up a long way away, at the back of the crowd!” The man was somewhat deflated by the barber’s comments but he took the trip anyway. When he got back he was pleased to be able to tell the barber that it all went well. “ We got a discount fare, so it wasn’t that expensive, and the hotel had just been done up! Then, best of all, when we went to see the Pope, we managed to get a spot at the front of the crowd and the Pope came over and spoke to us!” The Barber said: “ that’s extraordinary! What did he say?” “ Not a lot, but he ask me one question. He said to me, “ Where did you get that awful haircut?” ********** Customer in a shoe repair shop: “ I just found this ticket for a pair of shoes I left here in 2004. I don’t suppose you’ve still got them.” Shoe Repairman: “ They should be ready Friday.” ******** TOO MUCH TALK? It would take him three hours to tell you he’s a man of few words. In his view, free speech is not so much a right as a continuous obligation. She has bought dozens of books on how to speak in public. What she really needs is one on how to shut up. It’s a question of income and expenditure. His expenditure of word’s is greater than his income of ideas. ************* Holidays: a time when people find out where to stay away from next year. ******** He’s at work for eight hours and sleeps for eight hours. His boss is firing him because they are the same eight hours. ********** You know you’re getting older when … • You look forward to a dull evening. • You sit in a rocking chair and can’t get it going. • Dialling an overseas phone number wears you out. • Your back goes out more than you do. ********** SURGEON: “ I want you to know in advance that I’m in favour of getting my patients up and around very quickly. Three hours after surgery you will sit up, five hours later you will stand up, and the next morning you will walk around on the nurse’s arm. That afternoon you will start to walk again unaided.” PATIENT: “ All right. I guess you know what you’re doing. I just have one request.” SURGEON: “ What’s that?” PATIENT: “ Would it be okay if I lie down for a little while during the operation?” *********
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