> NOAH 2005
> In the year 2005, the Lord came unto Noah, who was now living in Brisbane,
> and said, "Once again, the earth has become wicked and over-populated and
> I
> see the end of all flesh before me. Build another Ark and save two of
> every
> living thing along with a few good humans."
> He gave Noah the blueprints, saying, "You have six months to build the Ark
> before I will start the unending rain for 40 days and 40 nights".
> Six months later, the Lord looked down and saw Noah weeping in his
> yard....
> but no Ark.
> "Noah", He roared, "I'm about to start the rain! Where is the Ark?"
> "Forgive me, Lord," begged Noah. "But things have changed.
> I needed a building permit. I've been arguing with the Brisbane City
> Council
> (BCC) and their inspector about the need for a sprinkler system. My
> neighbours claim that I've violated the neighbourhood zoning laws by
> building the Ark in my yard and exceeding the height limitations.
> We had to go to the BCC who deferred the matter to Court for a decision.
> Then Energex demanded a bond be posted for the future costs of moving
> power
> lines and other overhead obstructions to clear the passage for the Ark's
> move to the sea.
> I argued that the sea would be coming to us, but they would hear nothing
> of
> it.
> The Department of Harbours and Marine insisted the Ark be certified by
> Lloyds before allowing me to move it.
> Getting the wood was another problem. There's a ban on cutting local trees
> in order to save the spotted owl. I tried to convince the
> environmentalists
> that I needed the wood to save the owls. But no go! When I started
> gathering
> the animals, an animal rights group sued me.
> They insisted that I was confining wild animals against their will. As
> well,
> they argued the accommodation was too restrictive and it was cruel and
> inhumane to put so many animals in a confined space.
> Then the EPA ruled that I couldn't build the Ark until they'd conducted an
> environmental impact study on your proposed flood and I'm still trying to
> resolve a complaint with the Human Rights Commission on how many
> minorities
> I'm supposed to hire for my building crew.
> Also, the trades unions say I can't use my sons. They insist I have to
> hire
> only Union workers with Ark building experience, in addition to a Site
> Safety Officer and a Union Delegate.
> To make matters worse, the Tax Office seized all my assets, claiming I'm
> trying to leave the country illegally with endangered species.
> So, forgive me, Lord, but it would take at least ten years for me to
> finish
> this Ark."
> Suddenly the skies cleared, the sun began to shine, and a rainbow
> stretched
> across the sky.
> Noah looked up in wonder and asked, "You mean, You are not going to
> destroy
> the world?".
> "No," said the Lord. "Beattie and his Government beat me to it."
>