A man was extremely overweight, so his doctor put him on a diet.
“ I want you to eat regularly for two days, then skip a day,” he told
Him. “Do this for two weeks. Then next time I see you, you should
Have lost a few kilo’s.
When the man came back two weeks later, he had lost 10 kilos.
“That’s amazing!” the doctor said. “And you did this just by
Following that simple diet plan?”
The man nodded. “I’ll tell you, though , I thought I was going to drop
Dead the third day.”
“ From hunger, you mean?” the doctor asked.
“ No, from skipping!”
*****
A women was driving her nine-year-old granddaughter to a
Music lesson.
The granddaughter said, “Grandma, thanks so much for giving me
A ride when I need to go somewhere. When I’m eighteen and I can’t
Drive, I’ll take you wherever you want to go… if you’re still alive.”
*****
A restaurant next to a church put out a big sign with red letters
That said, “ Open on Sundays”.
The church answered with its own message:
“ We’re open on Sundays Too!”
*****
Every year there is a football match between the accounts
Department and the marketing department and every year
The accounts department wins. But you would hardly have
Known this if you had read the marketing department’s
Report on this year’s game.
The spin doctors got to work and put out this memo:
“ The marketing department is pleased to announce that
For the 2006 football season, we came in second place,
Having lost only one game all year. The accounts department,
However, had a dismal season, winning only one game.”
*******
A CHILD’S LETTER TO GOD.
Dear God,
I bet it is very hard for you to love all of everybody in the
Whole world. There are only 4 people in our family and I
Can never do it.
*******
There was an undertaker who used to sign his letters:
“ Eventually yours”.
******
Coach: someone who will gladly lay down your life for the
Sake of the team.
*******
