DOUCHEASAURUS's blog: "dirty men get shoes in the ***"

Thursday, May 17, 2007 the moving pants!!!! Category: Life Ok more info about me while im trying to wind down after work. We have all done it...... some more than others.It's one of my favorite things to do and if some of us were to admit it , they would say it's and almost everyday thing. Masturbation........ chew on that shit. Anyway at an extremely young age I can remember a phenomenon that turned my life into a frenzy after just a few rubs.After the first time it was done .........I was insanely rubbing one out at every chance I could get.The next step was to find a partner to share in the fun. It didnt take me long to find one and only because they were just a curious as I about the newly developed apendage.We did the deed only to be a little disgusted because it was hell trying to get things going like we wanted. From then on it was hand or work...... the work being an extended ordeal with a female that usualy meant that you might get some but only after they said so.So normaly the hand gained strength from all the pulling and so forth. There were those very intimidating types who would do anything just to do it and those got alot of my attention.Sex starts to be a chore when you dont give a shit about anyone your doing it with ......... it becomes this thing you do to get off just like a date with Rosey Palmer and her five sisters. So masturbation is a constant ........ hopefully I'll be doing it for a long time to come............ literaly. Just remember.......... its all in the wrist. Currently listening : Vena Sera By Chevelle Release date: 03 April, 2007

lapses in judgement..... Current mood: awake sometimes tunnel vision can be more of a problem than what you think. id like to give a shout out to all of the crazy fucked up chicks.yay for the interesting life i have had so far.cheers......... heres to you for teaching me some needed but extremely shitty lessons. so over a period of time through school it was trying for good girls and that was not for me at all.good girls hate me normally and after checking my attitude and way of life i can understand fully why they did.the unlucky ones that hit it off with me were looking for something more exciting and maybe a little darker.i can think of a few that hit a wall after hanging with me for too long.they had a choice so i dont feel guilty at all anymore.thank you good girls for showing me that even church cant always save you when the influence of the supposed guy next door gets in you.uh huh......thanks. thank you freaks for loving that i was a good boy to you.the freaky types had a thing for me and i have never gotten any good info as to why.i think that they were so fucked up at the time that i was the normal one..... so maybe that was it.they love to do things that youll never do with anyone else.... not just sex but things like trying to carve initials on you while your sleeping.hhhhmmm im not talking anymore about that one..... dammit.so lets say freaks can be fun but remember some good advice i was given when i was a young buck teenager...."keep your shoes on boy ....... never know when some woman will fuck you up". i laughed at that but its been a practice of mine in most cases.not all of them but most. thanks to the mean ass wicked bitches for teaching me that you can never run fast enough to escape a pissed off woman.there are fucked up people of both sexes but on both sides the playing field is tipped a bit by emotion.men can be souless bastards and very hurtful in any way shape or form.women however are the more determined of the two because they do sick shit for the most part out of what they consider love.women who hate dont take the time to do anything more than petty revenge but thats not always the case .... ive met a few that nearly hated that man of thiers to death.love or what they consider love at the time becomes everything and all consuming to the soul.once i heard from one lady...."i love you so much that it would be nothing for me to kill you and own what you are forever"....Ok i will admit that not even Carl Lewis(olympic ass kicking sprinter) could have seen the amount of speed exerted over that little running session.probably the one time i didnt even bother to put the shoes on. i dont have much experience with normal folks yet so ill leave that one till some other time.so far so good i hope.after all of those very different women and living through it not unscathed but smarter i hope that ive taken my licks and actually learned something from each one.i hate to say it but , because of what i have been and who ive met i am becoming the person i hoped so long ago for but never realized it.i would never take anything back not even the most horrible things because i came to realize that i am exactly where i need to be.i may never be everything that i want to be but one day ill be the very person i was put here to be.if that means that ill be some pervy old fart then so be it.im learning now.... finally . keep it greasy. Currently listening : Resurrection By Chimaira Release date: 06 March, 2007

Wednesday, May 30, 2007 beat the brakes off of it...... Current mood: exhausted fun at work ........ what a fuckin concept.story time for the fellas at the workplace turns into a 32 year old manic fit.what the hell is wrong with me? so tired this morning that it was hard to start the day so i brushed the fangs thumbed a ride and drank my gd coffee only to sit in front of my workplace for 30 min. or more for whatever reason.my ride likes to be super fuckin early.now when they let us start early i liked it but now habit or not fuck waking up an hour earlier just to sit my ass in front of work. with that in mind i can tell you my brain was not into work at all today.so much shit going on and im running from job to job in our shop.i cant believe i havent killed myself yet.so im in a mood...... go figure. after a nice phone convo during the lunch i got into a deep conversation about why i liked the hammers and going outside.here are the comments i got for what i did at work yesterday. 1) swinging that sledge without a shirt makes you look like your shooting a fuckin deoderant comercial.whats wrong with you. 2)awww isnt he cute with his little sweat rag and no shirt....... Hey you stupid fuck no one can see you ..... fuckin show off!!! 3)only women should show off tits in public....... i think your a homo. 4)see he always tries to push it right before he calls his girl...... maybe so he will breathe hard and she will feel sorry for him.what a shithead. i could go on for days but it just gets into them callin me a woman and telling me i have pretty legs and shit like that. soooooooo what do i do?? well when you confront a table full of hard ass old fuckers you have to get thier attention...... well i kinda tore them up. 1) so that viagra workin for you or does it just make the dicky doo disease worse.im guessing the fat gets hard first right......... 2)next time you stare at me without a shirt dont put your glasses on to get a better look ...... makes me think your taking a mental picture. 3)its funny...... i like it when you call me a woman but wasnt it your wife who told you i was a good looking man.you two should talk .... i mean that. 4)i noticed i draw a crowd when im in the back lot smashing shit....... im selling tickets for the next show...... they specificaly have a no lotion policy. 5)next time ill put on a bra for you excon homo wanna be types...... i feel like im in the prison yard getting looks from the ladylike. so we have beautiful exchanges like this alot..... to bad they give up easy.i like to talk shit. bye for now. Currently listening : The Nine Yards By Paperboy Release date: 26 January, 1993

second to none....... Current mood: thankful time to try something a little different. purposely oblivous.... its defense it used to search for hell.... found it, internal drum beating so unpaced but... its as calculating as the coldest machine. driven on by unexpected.. it searches for a different hell ... stopped cold more than once... pushed its way through each time. filled to the point of breaking ... its explosive inside and out... searching for a new hell .... bringing pain upon itself. it gets the hell it wishes for.... laughing pain as soft as a breeze... then loudly expressed by air passed through it. almost at the point of breaking.... it shows the whole world who is second to none. it becomes a juggernaut to others... brought pain before ... now it brings hell to the front.... once darkest of black now ...... a calming shade of comfort.... gray becomes the new face. unsure of its new place.. wandering through barely breathing.. others try but none prevail... over its still hardened heart. pain becomes the shield... the door slams shut. offered up physical cure... taken and one by one rejected. it slowly comes out from behind the door... all on its own. lifted up by others..... unbound now it sees more clearly. now truly worth a risk... it begins to befriend the others. still sometimes rejected... it never falters along this path. still remembering the pain... the hell ... the pain ...... has changed it no longer viewed as the untouchable... no longer locked behind the door... no longer does it feed on its pain. now there is power..... it makes its way unshackled.... by its own power. truly the one to behold.... a vision of power and now unbridled. it is .......... it surely is.... second to none. Currently listening : Mer de Noms By A Perfect Circle Release date: 23 May, 2000

Thursday, June 14, 2007 Douchebagasaurus Current mood: amused there is a legend of the most shit sucking worthless sack of skin known to human kind...... it is the legend of the douchebagasaurus. naration by some cockney accented nature type: today we are on a hunt for the worlds most worthless inhabitant. first we shall set our sights on explaining the various species of douchebag. the first species of douchebag can be found in numerous dwellings where females are the inhabitants.lets go see shall we.we enter the lavatory and sneak past the ravenous pugs and shit-zu we encounter along the way.here we see the first species of douche ..... just a fluid filled container with a nozzle .....Websters describes its use as ..... a jet of fluid for cleaning a body part.this is the most harmless of the douche species. the second in the douchebag species is the metrosexual moron who preys on weak willed women.many human males fit this category.they are so lacking in inteligence that a single breath could possibly be too much for the douches tiny brain to endure.the workload in motor function normally takes all of the mental capacity they are capable of.clear coherent thought are an impossibility.its best to just leave these creatures to the wolves.... lets move on to the next. the third and last of the douchebag species is the infamous and dangerous Douchebagasaurus.this hideous shit sucking beast is one creature you should never come in contact with .... prolonged contact may result in your death from stale thought and the mental and emotional draining.the douchebagasaurus is not at all human but a copycat. it imitates humans in order to feed its incredibly tiny self-esteem and live off of the humans who are not capable of resisting the insanely ignorant but sometimes charming wit and mode of speech. they were born and raised as a parasite to human kind. there are some ways to repel this creature so go online and look up how you to can avoid the soul draining , shit sucking , hideous , wastes of skin. ill give you a hint ......... your own self esteem will play a great role in how you deal with the douchebagasaurus. Good Day to all of you.................. Currently listening : Frail Words Collapse By As I Lay Dying Release date: 01 July, 2003