(Side note: If you've somehow missed it, I'm out of town this coming week (12th-19th) and will be checking in only sporadically and briefly. Miss me!)
Crushes. It seems like just another mechanism for some people to feel popular while others do not. We always seem to find ways, in society, to include some and exclude others. To have measuring sticks by which people gauge their popularity and desirability. Starting out with boys "liking you" in elementary school. And now we're fully-grown adults, and we have number of friends, and crushes, as our measuring sticks for how wanted we are.
The crush feature went in awhile back. And immediately, people started asking people to have crushes on them. Their feelings were hurt if noone immediately jumped in with a crush. Some people were gratified by immediate response (multiple crushes!) and others were saddened because they were apparently not crush-worthy at all.
At this point, there is one person with a crush on me. I had three crushes a week ago. And now I'm down to one. And I only knew one of the three. And I'm unsure how I should feel about the loss of two crushes. Should I feel bereft? Should I feel unwanted? Should I take offense that I was somehow crush-worthy a week ago, and am not now?
And, if multiple people have crushes on you, what does that mean? Does it mean you're somehow better than others? Does it mean you're interesting enough, and friendly enough, to become crush-worthy, but not so friendly as to make the vast hordes feel excluded? Meaning, you don't play favorites. You don't get really close to anyone. You simply put your presence out there, and display a lot of personality, and are friendly enough that people pay attention, but not so friendly that you become ... too personal to them. (Generally, that's what I've observed in people who have a lot of crushes on them.)
And, if people don't have crushes on us, are we supposed to feel saddened? Unwanted? Unliked? And do we feel that way, honestly?
As I said, we, as a society, always find a way to stratify things. To set up a pecking order. To define who is "popular" and who is not. I'll write more about popularity and pecking order when I return from California. In the meantime, I ask: do people have crushes on you? How do you feel about that? How do you determine who you have a crush on? And what causes to "de-crush?"
