In the last few days, a couple people I was talking to alluded to the fact that they are conversational monogamists -- that is, they engage in IM conversation with one person, and one person alone. And this was stated with a slight undercurrent of disapproval, as I am not a conversational monogamist at all.
The problem is -- I haven't quite figured out how to be a conversational monogamist. If it is slightly rude to have lagtime in a conversation due to multiple conversations, it seems even more rude to be online, yet tell people who IM me that, "Hey, sorry, I've already got one conversation going, so you're SOL. Try again later."
And hiding out invisible all the time doesn't really work for me, either. A number of people of my acquaintance already do that, including a few that I will always want to talk to when online, so if I'm invisible, we will miss each other. In addition, my AIM/Yahoo/MSN contacts list is very long, and I am likely to miss the arrival of people I really would like to speak with if I'm hiding and not giving them a chance to find me.
Of course, there are times when the number of conversations becomes too much for me. At that point, I usually do tell a few people goodbye, then go invisible so I can converse with one or two of the more interesting (or less commonly online) ones. Still, that, too, seems rude, and like a deception.
All in all, it feels, to me, like conversational monogamy is more a luxury than a choice. Of course there are times I would prefer one conversation, if it's a difficult one, or an especially intense one. But otherwise, I'm simply not sure how to finagle that without being rude or missing people I really would like to speak with.
