SO yeah after my girlfriend being a stupid bitch, my exhusband stating his undying love for me again and trying to stop our divorce from being finalized again, along with what I was dealing with concerning various other relationships I am involved in and destroying apparently Ive decided to take a break!! WOOT!! Being submissive to people hasnt gotten me what I both need and want so Im going to put my damn ass in neutral and see what happens. Im just gonna chill and let those who want me around bring me back around and quit trying to prove to people that I desire their presence in my life.Which this is a massively insanely hard thing to do because I normally beg and plead my case and turn utterly pathetic in the attempts to find my salvations and securities. But for some apparent reason I am thinking that action wont get me any reactions so Im letting what will be.Every part of me is screaming for them to take me back but I also know tightening around my throat has gotten tighter the less I have tried to throw myself at the mercy.Apparently maybe for once this is a problem not solved by submission or dominance but finding peace of mind and contentment in neither action---indifference may prove to be my salvation.
