I just finished wathcing another program on discovery called Haunted. Alot of people like hearing or watching these sort of tales,..but most dont beleive. I beleive...
Since i was a young child.. I knew i was"different". I have never been able to channel or put a label on my ability. So I have chosen to say that i have clairvoint tendancies. I have no controll over them... I can't conduct seyonces.. or commune with the dead at will.
What i do have are psychic dreams.. and multiple paranormal experiances. These abilities run in my family.. my Aunt has them as well..but has learned to channel them a bit more than i can. My children have also reported encounters to me.. mostly my eldest son Lane.
I watch these programs to learn and relate.. to ease my mind, so I don't feel so "abnormal". This isn't a subject you can just discuss randomly with the general public, not without them looking at you like you have one foot in an asylum anyways.
I remeber things as memories thet aren't mine. I don't know what to clasify these as.. but these are the first things i can remeber as a child. I remeber going to my mother and asking her about "a trip i took with my black father" when i was about 4. I to this day remeber her looking at me with bewilderment as she dialed my aunt on the phone. Minutes later my aunt arrived to ask me about my memories. The ones that seem "out of place".
She was able to put my child mind at ease and coax the stories out of me.. as i was fearfull after trying to tell my mother and the reaction i got from her.
I began to tell her i remeber being older,, about 7 or 8. I remeber my mom pressing my good white dress and spit polishing my black mary jane shoes with a button closure. I remeber my mothers hands and her smell.. like strong soap and honey. But her hands are dark.. not the pale irish skin of my true mother, who always smelled of Coty musk. I remeber her bruhsing my hair and braiding it into to jet black pig tails and rubbing a heavy cream onto my skin that made it smooth and shiney.. it smelled good.. like fresh heavy dairy cream..the kind thats sweetend for use in baking. As she was doing all of this she was telling me what a special day this was.. that i was going with my daddy to meet my grandma, i remeber it being very early in the day, my father was driving some sort of a delivery truck, i beleive for milk because i remeber large metal slotted racks in the back of the truck. I was going to go meet my father's mother today, i was going to meet my grandma. I was told to be very polite and to say please and thank you , yes ma'am and to not interrupt while the adults while they are talking. Whe my father arrived.. i was very excited,, i remeber him scooping me up and asking me if i was ready,, if i was excited, if i had been a good girl for my mama? We went outside and he lifted me into the passenger side of the van/truck that was missing paint in spots and had no doors. There was no seatbelt and my feet dangles from the seat, I remeber swaying them back and forth. Clicking them togehter as they passed oneanother.Admiring the way my legs glisten like a dark river rock from a stream when it is all wet and glistens. I loved my shoes, they were so shiney and i only got to wear them and my dress on sunday and special occasions. I remeber asking over and over "daddy are we close yet?.. Each time he would look over and smile a large toothy white grin and say soon my angel.. soon.
It was late afternoon when we pulled up to a small cottage like house.. the porch was simple 2 by 4's and it was all white washed.. to the side of the house was a few trees with a clothes line stretched between them. A large older black woman hanging what looked like bed sheets on the thin brown twiney rope. She was wearing a pale blue cotton dress,, with a full crisp white apron that tied in the back with ruffles edges. And her hair was tighty braided in a dutch braid that wrapped aroung the lower part of her head from ear to ear.
My father tells me to wait in the car ,, he'll be right back for me. He exited the van and walked up to the woman who didn't seem to notice our arrival. I can't hear what daddy says to her.. but she turns around to reaval a beautful yet sad face that lites up like the heavens when she sees him.. They embrace and she starts to cry and wail "my baby..my baby,, i can't beleive your here!!" He gestures back at the van to her. I have gotton onto my knee's to get a better look at whats going on.. They walk towards the van and the woman is cluthing her chest with one hand and has the other arm around his neck,, almost as if he has to support her while they approach the van wher I await them anxiously. I can hear her say she's here she is finally here. I hop to the floor of the van.....
And that's where it ends. My aunt scoops me up and tells me its ok that it is a real memory,, but one i should keep a secret. She tells me how special I am to have such wonderfull memories and from now on i can tell her all my secrets,
There are other memories.. of totally different people and situations. But this is getting pretty long. As well as many encounters with paranormal phenomenom. And i am just scratching the surface. I am sick and my migraine is getting worse.. so depending on the feedback i get.. i will leave this as to be continued......
