Sometimes in life we all have to do the things we hate the most. Some of those things could lead us to get hurt. Broken bones will heal. Cool looking scars tell a story. But sometimes it's the broken things that give us scars no one can see that hurt us the most.
People come and go in our lives. Even the ones who stay the shortest while can still leave a lasting memory in our minds. You just don't know who's heart you could be leaving that footprint on. Sometimes, the smallest sh*t can and does mean the biggest in ways you never thought of.
I'm going to get personal and bare my heart a little. I've been used my whole entire life. By friends, family, lovers and even strangers. It's a subtle abuse that goes unrecognized. I am a people pleaser. This has nothing to do with me wanting people to like me. It's just my natural way of being. I feel for people, so i take them on my shoulders. Put my last dime out just to make them feel more than okay. I guess this all caught up to me tonight. I mean, I'm a smart girl, and my eyes were never shut to this abuse. I went almost 7 years with an abusive husband and my divorce is the best thing to ever happen to me. Not because he cant harm me anymore but because i am a new woman now. Maybe i am just rambling on and on, maybe if i had a clearer mind frame this would make more sense. Who knows, maybe i just need to vent and i have not a soul to vent out to. I am a good person but i hide what's really going on inside. If people are going to see my flaws and imperfections i would rather them see the fat or blemishes. I dont want them to know why i cry or that i cry. I am human, like everyone else. Hell if anyone actually is reading this and got this far wow i am impressed!! I'll stop for now. This ramble typing that i am doing. Thanks for taking time out to read a piece of my heart.
there is a couple that i recently have been blessed to get to know, and take into my heart. i feel like i love them and i barely know them. i look at them and hear them in my ear and i wish that i had that again. ive even cried a bit but never told them about it. i do miss being the other half of a couple and knowing them, hearing them and seeing them just makes me want it even more so. i have gone my days thinking about those two and well, whatever does happen in the future just know i love you guys and i am sorry....
i've developed feelings for the two of them and i honestly do not know what to do....
life is life... one must live life to experience it and you just cant experience something it if you dont live ....
