i dont know how to phrase any of this so forgive me in advance... this is all one big thought but put into like hmm random little thoughts...
my perfect man?
cant start out as friends with benefits... i dont believe in that term. usually if i have the benefits part, where is the friendship in it? and if i end up being a friend with the guy the benefits part never happens... so, what it comes down to is..i cant have friends with benefits because i cant picture myself doing non sexual things like hanging out or whatever with a guy im f**king. and like i said i cant sleep with a friend...
so how do i combine the two? how do i get to have a guy who i can sleep with and spend time with? i know some people call it dating but i dont know anymore. i tried the dating thing. doesnt really work when the guy lies to you just so he can get into bed with you.
i want someone to hang out with, spend some time with, and yes, have him be the steady f*. lol i'm not talking about marriage lol. i like the cuddling and i like sitting on an empty beach at night... (just examples)
i dont even think im talking about love either. i think im talking about some form of commitment. it would be nice for once if the guy meant what he said, didnt lie and kept his word for once. oh well...
i also notice that when seeking someone for any level of companionship the man tends to be, how do i say this? either a lying player OR someone who hasn't had sex in forever...
omg maybe i'm just rambling on here but is it too much to ask to have someone to hang out with on my off time? one who understands that on days i work im too tired to think about anything other than sleep? lol sex is great but that shouldn't be the basis of a relationship or reason to be with someone...
lol i dont know...
am i just rambling or am i touching on something here?
