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"Hey, open mic night at the Red Room. Last time I was involved in 'open mic' night, it turned out to be a contest at a gay bar.."
Then the drummer would be all, 'badoom psssshhhh'
"drummer, thanks for the rim shot. It reminds me of the same night..."
'badoom psssshhhh'
"I saw a sign driving in that said 'speed hump'. That'll give you friction burns..."
'badoom psssshhhh'
"Hey, somebody ain't laughing. There's always an asshole in every room. I just never seem to find him..."
'badoom psssshhhh'
"The other night my lady runs out of the bathroom and yells, 'Super Pussy!'. I said, 'I'll take the soup'..."
'badoom psssshhhh'
Right about then a Hollywood agent will walk in and tell me, "you're just like Chris Rock, only your white and not funny. How about a billion dollar contract?"
And I'll look at him and say, "I'll take the soup"...
And we'll both start laughing and I'll be rich and famous and get my own TV show. Yep, that is how it's gonna happen....
