I am beyond belief. I know. I am seriously crippled up. I am an ugly-ass sex addict. I don't really like myself. I never did. I tried to protect my brother from the evil ones, but I failed. It's my fault he's in jail. I couldn't stop them, so he got messed up too. I spend all my time trying to figure out HOW I could have saved him, kept them away from him. I owe his kids at least that much, if not more. I guess I could have killed the evil, but I don't know how I'd have done it. I was 3 years old. I have studied death for the last 20 years, wishing I could go back and make things right. I know that it's impossible, that I should move on. I don't know how. How do you live that kind of stuff, and not have it affect you? What could I have done differently?