Some days it just doesn't pay to be alive. I don't know how many people are aware of my disease or know what it is. I am not here now to educate you, if you are reading this I'm sure you can find some info online. I am here strictly to try to maintain my sanity and get through the fucking EXCRUCIATING PAIN that I am currently in. It is such that I am basically trapped in my own fucking mind. I can barely walk right now. This means that I must use a goddamn wheelchair to get around. I'll be 30 on 09/09, yet I feel 130. A crazy, horny guy trapped in the body of a doddering old man. I know life ain't fair, but shit, enough is enough. I know that the docs can do more to control my pain, but it seems that they are afraid of my becoming an addict. This seems to me to be counter-intuitive. wouldn't helping control my pain be more conducive to my mental health? Don't make no sense to me, but I'm the guy trembling with tears streaming down his face.
