I am at a loss. I don't know peace. I hear noise all the time, I see things that are not real. I smell things from my past. Things long gone. Things I never want to smell again. I suffer silently in fear and paranoia. Now pain. My soul is exhausted. My body is decaying. My mind is twisting, like a spider on a thread. Nothing stops. When I try to shut it out it screams. It yells for me to pay attention. I don't even remember what "it" is anymore. Yet it torments me unmercilessly. Is it my conscience? My instincts? My soul, crying out for mercy? Someday, it WILL stop, and that will scare me even more. Why?
