Fuckin worst day ever!!!!
Current mood: frustrated
I woke up with a bad ass headache around noon! Ok damn.. i can deal with that. I went to lunch with mom and dess.. and my check got cashed.. good paycheck.. I can deal with that .... It's when i walked into fuckin work that my day went to hell.
I went to grab my headset from jen's office and fuck! I got asked to stay.. APPARENTLY there is an issue with my breaks and me takin to much of an extension of them. 2 1/2 hours over how long my breaks were to last total. This is a big issues because it's considered fuckin time fraud.
Store mgt demanded a reason why and i couldn't really give them one to be honest. I've been really stressed out, dealing with a buncha things in my personal life and i just let it interfere in my job. I lose track of time or i've got a headache/stomachache from the stress and i take the extra mins to sit and relax. I DUNNO!
All I know is that I had to write a letter to corporate mgt explaining my reason why I did what i did. I apologized in the letter because i know I'm wrong. But I really don't know why i did it. I wish the hell I did! I am fearing i could lose my job over this ... but i think that jen (store mgt) does like me so i think she's gonna do what she can to keep me.. But I'm lookin at possible probation and close monitoring of my breaks. I'm also gonna possibly face suspension. I mentioned in my letter that i would do probation and i hope they grant that to me.
I don't wanna fuckin lose my job. I'm so happy there... i would be so devastated.. I didn't do this deliberately. I love my job and can't picture myself anywhere else right now. I am praying and leaving it up to God's hands.
This stress is killing me and i don't know what to do about it. I did have some help tonight but I am tryin so hard! I really need to take my week's vacation and soon. I just need to relax but for now i'm crying... I was hurt over this and i'm mad at my fuckin self. Why am I such a fuckin screw up? AT everythinG! Why do i let shit get to me! UGHHH