Jessica AKA 2Cute4U actually in arizona's blog: "Today"

Thanks everyone for the love you have given me. I was ranked #208 for today thanks to that.... i hope it keeps up... and i never thought i would get that .... Keep rating and commenting me and i will try to return the favor.. Lots of love! HUGZ N KISSES! Jessica

I received news from my ex last night that his mom is very very sick... she has been sick for 3 weeks with what they thought was the flu.. she went to the docs and found out the results yesterday... results are not good! Her liver is failing! I was crying.. i couldnt believe it.. so was he... she's a really sweet lady and don't deserve this... please pray she gets better... i mean him and i have been through hell but i'm puttin shit aside to be there for him... i've never heard him being so upset as he was when i talked to him... he could possibl lose his mom... so please pray for her... keep her in your thoughts and prayers.... im doin the same !

There's just alot on my mind that i dont know where to begin.. i actually dont even wanna say anythin on here being that this site is more public than myspace... myspace is fuckin pissing me off though.. i wrote 2 different blogs and neither one of them posted....im frustrated because bloggin helps me get my thoughts out in the open but i cant even do that.. fuckin sucks. work is bothering me.. im so bored there.. and i think im gonna start lookin for another job. I just cant take it anymore.. when there are no customers there's literally nothing to do. It's AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! ughhhh i just cant say what i wanna say on here so whats the fuckin use... im frustrated.. can't sleep.... i just need to talk to someone i guess.. either that or get my ass to fuckin sleep!

I have been talkin to this guy thats in the marines stationed in iraq. I met him on myspace and been talkin to him every night ..becoming good friends... I asked for his addy so that i could send him somethin but i dunno what. I know i'm gonna write him but what could i get him? Somethin small and easy to send... Any suggestions?

You know what really really sucks... I went for unemployment .. waited all this freakin time to have my interview and everythin only to get denied. I was counting on it .. i have been since sept 5th with no income since i was terminated from my job. Now, I found this out yesterday ... I'm really frustrated and upset. It wasn't that i walked out the door.. I told the truth about everythin that happened.. and still denied... I can appeal but it's gonna take more time... it freakin sucks. The thing that's even worse is that i think about it and if i were on my own.. just me and my daughter.. we would be homeless right now. The NJ state government could give a freakin rats ass about people.. esp single moms. It's not that i'm not trying cause i am. I have apps in and everythin .. i just am waiting ... i don't know what more i can do . All i can say is im glad i've got my parents but even then money is hard on them and they relied on me to really help them out. I feel fuckin useless. The worst part about it is i dont qualify for anythin. I went to welfare after i just had my daughter. they denied me cause i made $10 over the income bracket. Ten freakin dollars..what could you buy with that when you have an newborn baby. This government sucks... but if you were mexican or spanish.. they wouldnt hesitate to give it to you.. anythin you could want . I'm not racist but i'm gettin fed up ... they could really care less... I'm not one to rely on the welfare system. I worked my ass off ...and pay into it but now that im not and need help.. they are opposed to helping me. I'm gettin fed up and sick of this state... Doesn't anyone agree?

U know it's so funny how fate works on your side and it was definitely workin on my side today. I have been having issues with steve (was my bf) and the way he had been treatin me. Well, it's been a mess n a half that i don't feel like goin into detail right now .. but to sum it up, he's been breakin up , making up, breaking up. It's been an emotional roller coaster for me. Recently steve and i have called it quits but been workin on tryin to fix it. I found out a couple things i wasnt too happy about .. and i was tryin to catch him on it. But as I was walking out the door to head to pick my daughter up at school, my friend dan who i have been talkin to on myspace.. was walking by to head to a friends house right in the same direction. Apparently his phone was shut off today because he was moving and had no internet or phone to get in touch with me.. he was goin to his friends house to email me . I thought it was fuckin awesome and we walked towards his friends (it was on the way to dess's school) and his friend wasn't home... I asked him if he wanted to walk with me to get dess.. He said yea... We picked her up and walked back to my house.. he introduced himself to my mom and stood and talked to her for a bit .. i invited him in .. we chilled and watched movies.. dess seemed to like him alot ... he stayed for dinner.. it was just freakin awesome.. i found myself cuddling up to him ... he helped me get dess ready for bed... and played with her along with me. It was just an amazing day. I can't get over it.. he just left around 12:30AM and i really didn't want him to leave. We stood there on my porch in a bear hug ... omg he wants to take things slow and see where it leads.. I can tell he's very much interested in me. He knows my fam and my daughter's dad. His bro hung out with my bro as well as my daughter's dad. It's just really interesting. He's been helping me so much and he just made me realize that i can do soo much better. Just one day with him proved that to me. One day with him we did so much more then 4 months with steve. Steve would never come to my house for dinner.. he would never help me put dess to bed.. he just wouldnt be there the way that i would have liked him to be. I tell you Dan has really won me over. I'm really starting to believe that i can do so much better than these assholes i have been dating. There are some good guys out there.. and the kicker is that dan says that he's gonna be there for me .. and stick up for me if i need it ... and that i can just be myself. I really hope so. I am takin my time and gettin my act together but i hope he stays there ... im really willing to try .. but i know its too soon for a relationship for me. He understands that. It's just funny how God was on my side and musta wanted us to meet.. because i was outside at the right time.. his friend wasnt home for him to go there ... he just had that time... right place right time. Hopefully i can be happier and get back on track with my life. I'm starting to smile already believe it or not!

This is a copy of my blog from myspace... i wanted some opinion on fubar... help me out guys! Dyfus Current mood: angry You know what ?!??!? I got some fuckin bad ass news early this morning .... my mom called me and told me that dyfus received a complaint about destiny...an anonymous person called in fuckin bullshit .. sayin that destiny was being neglected, abandoned and sexually abused! What the fuck! I'm sorry but i don't lay a hand on my daughter ... she gets everythin she wants and needs and i'm definitely making sure shes cared for.... she gets fuckin 2 baths a day.. one at night and one in the morning . She eats... yeah shes skinny but it's her body structure... the doc says she's perfectly healthy.. she's hardly ever sick. So to the sick fuck that wants to ruin my fuckin life and try to get rid of the only thing good in my life right now.. i say fuck you! My daughter is my life.. i gave up alot for her... I would never ever hurt her... she's my best friend. People get a fuckin life... why are you tryin to ruin mine! Is it fuckin enough that i lost my job and am dealin with so much as is.... Destiny is one of the happiest lil girls i have seen and i'm not about to let anyone ruin that or put her in any situation that is gonna ruin that. She's my life... and ur not gonna ruin her or me.. so if you even try .. i hope you get what is coming to you. I hate you for it ... and i will eventually find out who you are!

Fuckin worst day ever!!!! Current mood: frustrated I woke up with a bad ass headache around noon! Ok damn.. i can deal with that. I went to lunch with mom and dess.. and my check got cashed.. good paycheck.. I can deal with that .... It's when i walked into fuckin work that my day went to hell. I went to grab my headset from jen's office and fuck! I got asked to stay.. APPARENTLY there is an issue with my breaks and me takin to much of an extension of them. 2 1/2 hours over how long my breaks were to last total. This is a big issues because it's considered fuckin time fraud. Store mgt demanded a reason why and i couldn't really give them one to be honest. I've been really stressed out, dealing with a buncha things in my personal life and i just let it interfere in my job. I lose track of time or i've got a headache/stomachache from the stress and i take the extra mins to sit and relax. I DUNNO! All I know is that I had to write a letter to corporate mgt explaining my reason why I did what i did. I apologized in the letter because i know I'm wrong. But I really don't know why i did it. I wish the hell I did! I am fearing i could lose my job over this ... but i think that jen (store mgt) does like me so i think she's gonna do what she can to keep me.. But I'm lookin at possible probation and close monitoring of my breaks. I'm also gonna possibly face suspension. I mentioned in my letter that i would do probation and i hope they grant that to me. I don't wanna fuckin lose my job. I'm so happy there... i would be so devastated.. I didn't do this deliberately. I love my job and can't picture myself anywhere else right now. I am praying and leaving it up to God's hands. This stress is killing me and i don't know what to do about it. I did have some help tonight but I am tryin so hard! I really need to take my week's vacation and soon. I just need to relax but for now i'm crying... I was hurt over this and i'm mad at my fuckin self. Why am I such a fuckin screw up? AT everythinG! Why do i let shit get to me! UGHHH

Fuckin worst day ever!!!! Current mood: frustrated I woke up with a bad ass headache around noon! Ok damn.. i can deal with that. I went to lunch with mom and dess.. and my check got cashed.. good paycheck.. I can deal with that .... It's when i walked into fuckin work that my day went to hell. I went to grab my headset from jen's office and fuck! I got asked to stay.. APPARENTLY there is an issue with my breaks and me takin to much of an extension of them. 2 1/2 hours over how long my breaks were to last total. This is a big issues because it's considered fuckin time fraud. Store mgt demanded a reason why and i couldn't really give them one to be honest. I've been really stressed out, dealing with a buncha things in my personal life and i just let it interfere in my job. I lose track of time or i've got a headache/stomachache from the stress and i take the extra mins to sit and relax. I DUNNO! All I know is that I had to write a letter to corporate mgt explaining my reason why I did what i did. I apologized in the letter because i know I'm wrong. But I really don't know why i did it. I wish the hell I did! I am fearing i could lose my job over this ... but i think that jen (store mgt) does like me so i think she's gonna do what she can to keep me.. But I'm lookin at possible probation and close monitoring of my breaks. I'm also gonna possibly face suspension. I mentioned in my letter that i would do probation and i hope they grant that to me. I don't wanna fuckin lose my job. I'm so happy there... i would be so devastated.. I didn't do this deliberately. I love my job and can't picture myself anywhere else right now. I am praying and leaving it up to God's hands. This stress is killing me and i don't know what to do about it. I did have some help tonight but I am tryin so hard! I really need to take my week's vacation and soon. I just need to relax but for now i'm crying... I was hurt over this and i'm mad at my fuckin self. Why am I such a fuckin screw up? AT everythinG! Why do i let shit get to me! UGHHH

And so i went over to steve's last night to hear what he had to say .. he said that he miss me and wanted to try and work things out. I told him that i didn't like being treated like shit and that i was through with begging him to stay with me. If he wanted to be with me, he was gonna have to make a change and start treating me the way i deserve to be treated. I barely said anythin to him.. Just sat and listened. I'm basically through with all the bullshit... and am lookin for somethin real. If he can't give me that then I'm done. NO MORE GAMES. Look, I love him with all of my heart and I'm not sure what to do about the situation. To be honest, I don't know why I love him so much because of the way i have been treated by him. I guess I just try to overlook the bad qualities in a person and see their good... which can be a bad thing because your brain just doesn't wanna work with your heart. I'm not sure what i'm gonna do. I'm not sure i even wanna be with him after all the hurt i have been put through. I went to his house thinking i was gonna get him back.. and i sure enough did. But now I'm not sure i want that. I think what i need to do is just take some time to myself to think. I have been talkin to some pretty awesome people and they have helped me see some things that i may have needed help pointing out. You know who you are and you are freakin awesome! Just I'm really starting to think I'm better than all that and i dunno what i would do without you guys here to help me. Look, I'm not gonna go beggin him.. not gonna go chasing him like i did. If he truly wants to be with me, then he will chase me. He will make the effort to see me and to be with me. Otherwise, I'm completely done. _________________________________________________ Please comment me on this blog and let me know what i should do. I really do need some advice esp you guys out there... what should i do?