Paddle, paddling - A rigid flat-surfaced implement usually of leather or wood used for spanking a fanny. Paddling is the act of using a paddle. A paddle is also the implement that a wise-ass masochist often finds herself up the creek without.
Pain slut - A masochist who derives pleasure from physical pain.
Pansexual- Nongender specific sexual orientation. A group that encompasses all sexual and gender orientations is said to be pansexual.
Piercing - Piercing the skin with a needle in an SM scene, as ritual, or as body modification. Most frequently, piercings are accompanied by the installation of jewelry. An exception to this is play piercing. In play piercing, the needle is inserted into, or through, the skin as a part of a scene, but the wound(s) are often allowed to heal without jewelry being introduced.
In play piercings, many parts of the skin may be pierced at the same time. Sometimes, the needles are left in the skin throughout the scene, tied together by string, thread, or rope, then removed at the close of the scene.
Piercings that are intended to be permanent usually are placed in sites common among people of the Near East for ornamental and erotic value. These sites are, typically: nostril and septum of the nose, ears (in the lobes, tragus, and helix), lips, nipples, along the shaft and head of the penis, the scrotum, inner and outer labia, and the hood of the clitoris. Some newer fashions of piercings include the webs between the fingers, the eyebrows, and the bridge of the nose.
Erotic piercings are said to enhance sensation to the body parts that are pierced. Raelyn Gallina, body modification expert (she performs piercings, cuttings, and brandings) and jeweler from Oakland, CA, invented a piercing called the "Triangle", which penetrates the clitoral hood on both sides, and underneath the clitoris, Thus, the ring installed contacts the clitoris in a place totally beneath the skin.
People seeking piercings are warned not to use piercing "guns", sewing needles, or safety pins. It is best to seek professional assistance which is available in most parts of the United States, Canada, and Europe. Very often, tattoo shops will be associated with professional piercers. These people have the equipment to provide sterile piercings and the knowledge to recommend proper after care.
Pillory - Handed down from the reign of the Puritans, a pillory is usually wooden-framed, free-standing stocks that imprisons the head and wrists for immobilizing a person. For use with the humiliation of your choice.
Pizzle - The dried and stretched penis of a bull, or other large animal, formed into a whip. These are actually deadly toys.
Plastic wrap - Regular, old plastic food wrap can be used for encasing the body for bondage. Unlike food, it will not keep your submissive fresh. [see Mummification]
Play - Participating in an SM scene or SM scene activity.
Playroom, Pray space - Any area you designate in which to perform an SM scene. Hotel rooms, secluded woods, and delivery vans qualify as well as a permanently furnished basement or dungeon. Also referred to as dungeon space.
Play punishment - The use of punishment as an excuse for an erotic encounter. She burnt the toast that morning, forgot to say, "Sir," or some other trivial misdeed and, alas, must be corrected. Somehow, both end up getting what they crave. As a game, this beats the heck out of strip monopoly. Punishment is an erotic game that should never be used to address serious problems.
Ponygirl, Ponyboy - A classic SM fantasy immortalized in the drawings of John Willie and used in the Sleeping Beauty Trilogy by Ann Rice. Typical pony garb includes a horsehair tail attached to a buttplug, a bit gag and/or bridle headharness, and reins. Often very high heels, a corset, and feather plumes in the hair are added. The arms are typically bound behind the back. Pony activities range from being displayed and directed by rein to being ridden or pulling a cart.
Pony training - The fanciful transformation of a girl (Or boy) into "pony" to be ridden, to pull a carriage, or to perform as a well-trained horse in obedience and deportment.
Position training - The training of a submissive to assume a given position upon command or under certain circumstances.
Post-scene plunge - Feelings of let-down, depression, fear, disgust, remorse, etc, after participating in SM play. Can be experienced by either dominant or submissive. Jay Wiseman, author of SM 101, uses the term "Top Drop" to describe these feelings on the part of the dominant.
Power exchange - The empowerment of the dominant by the submissive’s surrender to his/her control. Power exchange is consensual and should be well negotiated. The depth of the power yielded by the submissive is equal to level of responsibility assumed by the dominant.
Power exchange levels - A system for linking emotional involvement and depth of feeling with degree of power exchange. The Five Levels are: one - Conditional compliance, two - Restricted ongoing acquiescence, three - Provisional submission, four - the Covenant of dominance and submission, and five – Absolute ownership. The first four levels are based in reality.
Provisional submission - An ongoing relationship negotiated between a dom and a sub characterized by power exchange and emotional involvement, but lacking serious commitment. [see Power exchange levels]
Psychosexual - Emotionality, attitudes, orientations, or mind sets associated with erotic behavior or sexual fantasy life.
Punitive pain - Pain that by intention is designed to hurt for nonerotic purposes, usually for punishment. This is abusive and often motivated by a misunderstanding of appropriate control mechanisms.
Pushing limits - 1) A careful process of gradual expansion of limits. 2) Intense play that comes close to the unbearable. [see Edge play]
PVC - poly-vinyl-chloride - 1) A type of plastic used for fetish clothing. 2) The PVC pipes made for plumbing that can be constructed into bondage devices.
Quirt - A corporal toy that looks something like a crop with a flexible, whip-like cracker at the end.
Restricted Ongoing Acquiescence - An agreement, negotiated by a dom and sub, to play casually for an extended period of time without serious emotional involvement. [see Power exchange levels]
Rimming - Common term for anilingus (anal-oral sex).
Role play - 1) Elaboration of one’s sexual inclinations by creating a fantasy framework for them. 2) People with compatible sexual fantasies taking on complimentary persona to interact with each other.
Rope dress – [see Oriental bondage, rope dress]
Rubber - [see Latex]
S.A.M. – [see Smart Ass Masochist]
Sadism, Sadist - Deriving sexual pleasure from the giving of pain, humiliation, and/or domination. The honorable sadist only gives pain or humiliation to those desiring it, respects limits, is caring and careful.
Sadomasochism, SM - Advanced sexual practices incorporating the consensual use of pain, humiliation, and power exchange for erotic enjoyment. SM includes dominance and submission, bondage and discipline, love bondage, and erotic spanking. The term is frequently misused to indicate heavier or more extreme practices.
Sadomasomythology - The misconceptions of society in regard to what sadomasochism actually entails. Also, an ill-informed idea about a particular practice within SM.
Safe, sane, and consensual - Characterizes the acceptable play within the SM community; players adhere to safety precautions within their activities, do not participate in practices that will injure their partners (mentally or physically), and obtain consent by negotiating scenes and scene related activities before
carrying them out.
Safe sex, Safer sex - Practicing sex wherein no body fluids are exchanged; includes the use of condoms on insertion toys as well as penises, dental dams, or plastic wrap for cunnilingus, cleanliness with regard to corporal toys, abstention from penetration, etc.
Safe word, Safe signal - A word, a phrase, or an action (like dropping a bail by a gagged submissive) used by the submissive as a signal to stop the scene or reduce the intensity.
St. Andrew’s cross - An upright cross in the shape of the letter "X" to which people are bound for flogging or torture.
Scat - Feces, also, play with feces.
Scene - 1) The SM or fetish community; or things associated with it. 2) An occurrence or session of SM play.
Scene friendly - Familiarity with, and acceptance of the SM scene and SM players, usually refers to a professional’s attitude (-therapist, -lawyer, etc.)
Scene gear - The SM (and often vanilla) toys we play with. [see Gear]
Sensory deprivation - Restricting or diluting a submissive’s ability to use one or more of his/her senses of touch, hearing, sight, taste, or smell as a part of an SM scene.
Sensory relocation - Transferring the feeling of a stimuli to a different body location than it is received.
Sensual play - SM play that focuses on stimulating the senses without the use of pain.
Service - Acts, chores, or labor, sexual or otherwise, performed by a sub for the benefit of a dom.
Session - A scene. [see Scene]
Serpent’s Tongue - A type of slapper made of a thick strap of leather, two or three inches wide, with a deep "V" cut into most of the length of the piece. Commonly, the handle will have a double thickness with a ring stitched at the end. This is a very nasty toy.
Sexual imprinting, reimprinting - There is a school of thought stating that sexual responses result from imprinting based on past associations, experiences, background, and environment, often dating back to early childhood. Altering sexual behavior by changing responses and creating new associations is a technique called reimprinting.
Sexual magic, sensual magic - Positive descriptive terms for sadomasochism.
Silent alarm - A safety precaution used by players who are new to one another. For example: a submissive, playing with a dominant for the first time, might arrange for a friend to be near a telephone at a pre-arranged time. If the submissive does not call at that time, the friend will be alerted that something has gone wrong and will take steps to see that the submissive is safe.
Sissification, feminization - A practice desired by a male sub of "forced" cross-dressing and/or gender reassignment.
Slapper - A flexible semi-rigid strap used like a paddle.
Slave - 1) In the scene community sometimes used loosely as another word for submissive. 2) A submissive involved in a committed relationship incorporating a shared slave/master fantasy.
Slave contract - A written agreement elaborating the terms, goals, and limits of an SM relationship.
Slave training - The processes of: instructing a submissive in a dominant’s preferences, and, conditioning the submissive’s behavior.
Sling - A cross between a swing and a hammock in which a bottom may be comfortably suspended,
SM positive - A sympathetic or accepting attitude toward sadomasochism and/or SM play and players. [see Scene friendly]
SM virgin - A person with little or no experience in SM practices.
Smart Ass Masochist, SAM - A bottom, who rather than submitting, challenges or annoys to entice a dom to punish her. [see Brat]
Spandex· - A very stretchable synthetic cloth used for fetish clothing and bondage gear.
Spanking - Striking a submissive, usually with an open hand, on her fanny. Some use this term to include paddling, as well.
Spanking bench - A piece of stationary equipment with attachment points to designed to secure a submissive in preparation for a spanking. Properly bound or positioned on a spanking bench, the submissive’s arse is in an accessible, convenient angle for a spanking or whipping.
Spanking skirt - A skirt or dress with cut-outs over each fanny cheek, designed to allow bare-skinned spanking. The spanking skirt is a classic piece of scene-wear that enhances humiliation/exhibitionism aside from its practical application.
Spreader bar - A strong bar, usually wooden, bamboo, or metal, with rings or holes on each end, used as a bondage tool to keep a submissive’s arms or legs apart.
Sting - A sharp biting feel to the surface of the skin.
Stocks - A device (usually wooden) with holes designed to imprison a submissive’s wrists and head, or wrists and ankles. [see Pillory]
Stoplight safe words - A commonly used system of safe words wherein red means stop the scene immediately and release the sub, yellow warns the dominant that the current practice is pushing the submissive’s endurance, and green lets the dominant know that what is happening is awfully nice and should be continued.
Straight - 1) Code word for heterosexual. 2) Adjective for someone or something that is not SM oriented. In this sense, a synonym for vanilla.
Strap - 1) As a noun, this is either a bondage restraint (usually leather with a buckle) or an instrument of corporal punishment (also, usually leather sans the buckle). 2) As a verb, it is the act of binding or beating a submissive with a strap.
Submissive, Sub - One who surrenders control of her body and behavior (within pre-defined limitations) to another for erotic play.
Sub-space- [see: Bottom-space]
Submissive uniform - A common mode of dress worn by submissives emphasizing their sexuality, usually very short skirts, revealing tops, high heels, and stockings supported by a garter belt or bustier.
Suspension - A bondage technique wherein the submissive’s weight, totally or partially, is borne by the restraints used in the bondage. Great care must be exercised in this practice; usually, bondage harnesses and suspension cuffs are used in suspension.
Suspension cuffs - Wrist and/or ankle restraints designed specifically for safe suspension. [see Cuff, Cuffing; Suspension]
Switch - 1) A person who enjoys taking either side in SM role or physical play; i.e. top or bottom, dom or sub. 2) A slender flexible branch from a tree or bush used for corporal punishment.
