Handcuffs - These metal shackles are used to bind wrists by law enforcement personal, legally, and by sadomasochists, covertly. Handcuffs are considered weapons and illegal to own in most states, but are easy to buy and commonly used.
Head games - 1) Domination where the focus is primarily mental, such as humiliation, rather than physical, such as bondage or whipping. 2) Non-consensual psychological manipulation to make a person respond in a particular way for one's own purposes.
Heavy - 1) Intense SM play or whipping. 2) A term describing an SM toy such as a flogger or cane that is capable of delivering intense sensations.
Hood - A covering for the head. Hoods used in SM are made of various materials, especially; leather, spandex, and rubber. Some hoods are constructed as ornamentation, others are used as a part of bondage to control or restrict sight, sound, speech (by incorporating a gag), and/or breathing.
Humiliation - Playful embarrassment or humbling a person by teasing them about their sexual desires can be part of erotic control. Humiliation in SM can paradoxically build a person’s self-esteem rather than tearing it down by reinforcing their sexuality. Real attacks on a person’s self-worth or sexuality, or manipulations designed to break their spirit are abuse not within the appropriate practice of SM.
Infantilism - Role play involving infant-like behavior such as diaper wearing, nursing, etc.
In-role - Assuming the persona of a sexual archetype or fantasy character.
Isolation - 1) A fear of interrelating with others. People are often; a) afraid to "come out" about their attraction to SM out of fear of societal repercussions, or b) they may think that no one shares their attraction to a particular SM (or other sexual) practice. In both cases, this can lead to feelings of inadequacy, self-doubt, depression, and/or loneliness. 2] A technique of sensory deprivation, bondage, and trickery to make a submissive feel as though he or she is being left alone.
Japanese bondage - [see Oriental bondage, rope dress]
Katherine wheel - A piece of dungeon equipment that looks like a large, vertically mounted wheel to which a submissive is bound, allowing her to be turned or spun. Warning: not for use with the sub that is inclined toward motion sickness.
Knife play - Play that includes the use of a knife (does not necessarily imply cutting). Knives are more often used as props for psychological effect, to scrap wax from a body after a fire and ice scene, to remove clothing, and endless other devious purposes.
Latex - Latex and rubber are used to make clothing, sheets and other fetish items.
Leather butt - 1) A term that describes a person who has been beaten so often that only intense whipping has any effect. 2) The condition of the buttocks after heavy paddling. The skin compresses and becomes stiff or "leathery" to the touch. The compression effect is most pronounced with paddles, so leather butt can be avoided by using a mixture of implements.
Lifestyler - A person who lives a lifestyle that supports rather than conflicts with his SM fantasy archetype. Some lifestylers object to the characterization of their SM identities as fantasy role play, feeling that it is integral to their personalities rather than a sexual game. It is easy, and often attractive, to confuse reality and fantasy. [see Alternate sexuality; Alternate lifestyle; In-role]
Limit - The boundaries of SM activities set by both dominant and submissive during negotiation defining what each is willing and unwilling to do within a scene. Limits must be respected and never intentionally breached by either partner. Limits apply to roles, levels of dominance and submission, and duration of time, as well as physical activities such as whipping, paddling, etc.
Live-in slave - A lifestyle submissive in a committed relationship who lives within the context of a slave/master (or mistress) fantasy.
Macho sub - A submissive with a reluctance to show distress, use a safe word, or who feels a need to stoically endure what is not pleasurable. The macho sub may be motivated by a desire to prove her mettle, show devotion, or reflect her internal fantasy. The macho sub must make sure the dom is aware of her inclinations during negotiation. The dom of a macho submissive should rely more on a checking-in technique and less on spontaneous feedback. The macho sub’s saving grace is a strong desire to obey. Ordering her to communicate clearly about stress, as it occurs can override some of her reluctance to "be a wimp."
Masochism, masochist - The erotic enjoyment of pain, humiliation, and/or of being dominated. One who enjoys pain, etc. Sometimes the terms are used to describe one who enjoys heavier pain.
Master - A male that takes the dominant role in SM role play. The title may be bestowed upon the male dominant in appreciation of his skill. It may be a term of endearment or a loving tribute to a dom by a submissive in a relationship. Equally often, the term is self-aggrandizement by a male with dominant fantasies, not infrequently with "true" or "real" tacked in front.
Mental bondage- Ropeless bondage by command. A submissive instructed by her dominant to remain in position will feel bound to obey.
Mistress - A female dominant. [see Dominant, Dom, Domme, Domina, Dominatrix]
Mummification - A bondage technique of completely or almost completely wrapping a submissive in restrictive material, such as; plastic wrap, spandex, elastic or gauze bandages, etc.
Negotiation - The process of determining the practices and boundaries of sexual and SM activities between a top and a bottom. It may apply to the whole relationship or just a specific scene. Negotiating is an ongoing process that is repeated as the players’ needs change.
Nipple clamps, nipple clips – [see Clamp, Clamping]
Nipple play/torture - Stimulation of the nipples for corporal or erotic purposes. Often includes; sucking, pinching, clamping, fire and ice, or piercing.
Nonconsensual - SM play that is not sanctioned by either player.
Nostril strap - A device, usually of bent wire, with a string attached for hooking into the nostrils for humiliation and torment. Commonly used in Japanese SM.
Novice - A person with an interest in SM, but lacking in experience.
Oriental bondage, rope dress - Any of a number of styles of rope bondage stemming from styles used in the Far East. Typically, the bondages are highly decorative, uniform, and symmetrical.
Over the knee, OTK - A classic spanking position. Also a code word for same.
Ownership, absolute ownership - 1) Within master/slave role play ownership means having control of the submissive. 2) Loosely used in the SM community to mean an ongoing dominant/submissive relationship. 3) Absolute ownership is a lost-in-fantasy relationship based on sadomasomythology and fictional lore.
