Age play - A type of role play to gratify a fetish surrounding age; typically daddy/child or mommy/child fantasies [see also: Infantilism].
Algolagnia - The act of transforming pain into sexual pleasure. A synonym for sadomasochism (SM). [see Sadism, sadist; Sadomasochism; Masochism, masochist].
Alternative sexuality - A sexual orientation that differs from a preference for vaginal intercourse (with minor variations) within a monogamous heterosexual relationship.
Alternative lifestyle - Having a sexuality that differs significantly from the "norm" (see Alternative sexuality) may make an alternative lifestyle necessary or desirable. A sexual orientation less common than the norm may stigmatize the individual pushing the person to seek a more accepting subculture. An example is homosexuality and the formation of the gay community.
Anal play - Any sexual or fetish practice concerning the anus and/or rectum, chiefly includes: anal sex, rimming, enema play, and anal fisting.
Anal training - Preparation of the anus for anal play.
Anilingus - Anal-oral sex. Dental dam or plastic wrap is helpful for preventing exchange of harmful organisms.
Animal play - Role playing wherein one or both partners assumes the role of an animal, chiefly: puppy, dog, and pony.
Asphyxiation play - Restricting air (and/or blood) flow by choking to enhance the sensation of orgasm. Very dangerous play, we don’t recommend it.
BDSM - Once upon a time this was all called Sadomasochism (SM, S/M or S&M) and we were all deemed very bad, sick, perverted people. We were just people though, as horny as everyone is, with a little kink to make us special. But some of us didn’t want to be called sick, bad perverts and these people invented names like Dominance and Submission (D&S, DS or D/s). Love Bondage (Love Bondage) and Bondage and Discipline (B&D) to make themselves and the pleasure police think that what they did was different from what those sad, twisted, nasty old sadomasochists did, no no! Then we all got online with our personal computers (well, a lot of us did) and began doing what people do best when they’re not having sex: argue. For months arguments about labels for our kinks clogged up the computer networks.
Finally, the term BDSM was born. This made many kinky people happy because it incorporated Bondage and Discipline (BD), Dominance and Submission (DS) and Sadomasochism (SM).
Black lightning - A common nickname for a black fiber glass or resin rod that is used as a cane. Denser than rattan, it can inflict deeper damage and the feel is described as "cutting." [see Cane]
Black snake - A type of single-lash whip that is flexible all the way to the knob.
Bloodsport - SM practices that result in drawing blood. Can include whipping or caning that breaks the skin, branding, cutting, and piercing.
Body fluid monogamy, body fluid bonding - A practice of sharing body fluids only between two partners in order to observe safer-sex recommendations. Commonly, the partners have been tested negative for HIV, sometimes also for hepatitis B and C. The partners may or may not play with others outside their
relationship, but only by observing strict safer-sex rules. [see Safer Sex]
Bondage - Any practice involving restraints placed on the body to restrict freedom of movement.
Bondage and discipline, B~D - A classic term referring to several sexual practices including: bondage, slave training, corporal punishment, and dominant/submissive role play.
Bondage belt - A belt, usually leather with metal rings attached, to assist in performing bondage.
Bondage frame - Any stationary device used to assist in performing bondage.
Bondage harness - A configuration of straps, usually leather or nylon designed to: 1) ornament the body, and 2) aid in bondage and suspension bondage.
Bottom - An SM practitioner who submits to bondage, training, role play, corporal punishment, etc., but who is not necessarily emotionally committed to his/her dominant partner (top).
Bottoming from the top - Originally a derogatory term for a top who allows his bottom to run the scene, "bottoming from the top" has become a valid style of play. Most tops experience some scenes where they prefer to take at least some direction from their bottoms. Some even prefer this style of play and may call
themselves submissive sadists. [see also, Topping from the bottom]
Bottom-space or sub-space - A type of erotically altered consciousness (EAC) identified with feelings of falling into a state of submission. Generally, bottom- or sub-space may be characterized by, diminished ego awareness, less active cognitive behavior, surrendering of will, and/or inability to verbalize. Frequently
these functions are assumed by the dominant partner who becomes the submissive's center of focus.
Brat - A bottom who enjoys struggling against control or challenging the top. Brattiness has a wide spectrum from the playful "uppity bottom" to the smart-ass masochist (which see). Some brats are "testing" their dominant, others have a desire to be "conquered and tamed," while some simply do not wish to be controlled. [see Smart-ass masochist]
Brain fade - A state of confusion and/or inability to reason experienced by the submissive. This effect usually results from psychological domination, the mind-fuck, or a deepening submissive state. [see Bottom-space, Sub-space]
Breast bondage - Tying the female breasts with cord, string, rope, rubber bands, scarves, etc. as a part of SM or erotic play. May include nipple bondage or clamping.
Breath control - Control of breathing by the dominant through use of a gas mask or similar apparatus, by choking, or by covering the mouth and nose.
Body modification - The general term for practices that reshape or ornament the body for ritual, erotic, decorative, or fetish purposes. The practices commonly include tattooing, piercing, branding, cutting, and corsetry.
Boundaries - Usually refers to limits (which see) negotiated prior to SM play.
Branding - Burning the skin, usually with heated metal, to produce scarification. Branding can be a part of a scene, ritual, or body modification. The design often consists of several unconnected lines and curves, each requiring a separate strike with heated metal, bent to form its part of the design. The reason for the unconnected lines is to assure that elements of the design do not scar into a shapeless mass; human skin heals differently than the hides of livestock.
Buggywhip - A single thong whip with a rigid core and a flexible cracker at the end.
Cage, bondage cage - Yup, a cage is a cage. These are big enough to hold the whole submissive.
Cane - Traditional canes are flexible rattan or bamboo optionally having a leather wrapped handle. Modern canes may be plastic or fiber glass.
Caning - The art of using a cane on a bottom.
Cat or cat o' nine tails - The term originally referred to a whip used by British navy. Now, cat usually to refers to all multi-thonged whips.
Catharsis - Purgation of emotions and or stress through an SM scene may or may not be intentional.
Checking-in - Asking the submissive how they are doing, feeling, etc. during a scene. Specific questions get more useful answers. An affirmative response to "Are you ok?" may merely indicate that death is not impending, but there still may be problems, particularly with a macho sub. "Would you enjoy heavier (or lighter) sensations?" is a better question. In SM play "is this good for you?" is asked during a scene rather than the typical "was it good for you?"afterwards. Checking-in should not replace a dominant's own observation and focus, it is another part of the safety net.
Cinching – 1) Wearing of a cincher, a garment similar to, but less encompassing than a corset. 2) A bondage technique, for example, to tighten coils of rope holding the wrists together by wrapping the coils between the wrists by one or more "cinch loops" of rope.
Clamp, clamping - Nipple clamps, clothespins, and binder clips are used to pinch or squeeze a small bit of flesh. The target areas for clamping are nipples, cocks, vulvas, and other erotically sensitive areas such as the sides of the torso and inner thighs. Weights can be added to increase the rigor.
Clip - [see Clamp, Clamping]
Clean - A code word used to describe a condition of being disease free. [see Code word]
Cock and ball torture or CBT - Tortures are inflicted on these body parts using clothespins, clamps, cock cages, weight, and various kinds of bindings.
Code word(s) - Word(s) used in personal ads to disguise sexual proclivities that may be unacceptable to mainstream society, eg: English culture, French culture, Greek, clean, discipline, strict, leather, etc.
Collar, collared - 1) A symbol of surrender worn by a submissive. A collar is given in a relationship as a profound symbol of a commitment and bond. A "collared" submissive is considered to be owned (which see) or partnered with a dominant player. 2) A piece of bondage equipment worn around the throat.
Conditional compliance - The SM one-nighter, a limited exchange of power negotiated by a dom and sub for a single scene or brief period of play, such as overnight, one day, or one weekend. [see Power exchange levels]
Conditioning - The term used in psychology for the deliberate process of creating a psychological link between a desired response and an unrelated stimulus. Much of what people in the SM community refer to as training or slave training uses classic conditioning techniques.
Condom - A latex sheath used on a penis or toy as a barrier to prevent the transmission of disease or pregnancy. Natural lambskin condoms are also available, but don't function effectively to prevent the spread of viral illness. [see Safer Sex]
Consensual - Behavior or activities agreed to by all parties involved. True consent is informed consent and requires a reasonably accurate knowledge of possible risks.
Contrapolar stimulation "Hurts so good!" - A type of physical stimulation that Incorporates feeling of both pleasure and pain.
Corporal - Activities that involve the striking of one individual by another are called corporal from the term corporal punishment. Typically corporal activities include spanking, flogging, paddling, and caning.
Counting - The ritualized counting of strokes received. The sub may be required to thank the dominant with each count. Example: "One, thank you Sir. Two, thank you Sir, etc." A typically diabolic practice is to start the count over again each time a mistake is made. Some masochists never seem to get the count correct, even with their shoes off.
Covenant of dominance and submission - A deeply committed symbiotic relationship between a dominant and a submissive. [see Levels of power exchange]
Crossdressing - Dressing in clothes of the opposite gender.
Crucifixion - Bondage incorporating a stationary cross. The submissive’s arms and legs are tied, not nailed. Care must be taken to ensure that the torso is properly supported, otherwise, strangulation may occur.
Cuff, cuffing - 1) Placing handcuffs, manacles, or similar restraints on the wrists and/or ankles. 2) Also refers to the restraints in the noun form. For example: "That is a nice cuff you’re wearing," or "This cuffing is very comfy."
Cutting – I) slicing the skin as a part of body modification, ritual, or scene. Most frequently, designs are transferred to the skin as they would be for the creation of a tattoo. Then either scalpels, razor blades, art knives, or other cutting tool incise the skin at a depth of 1/16" to 3/16. Cuttings can include color by means of tattoo inks or cigar (not cigarette) ash rubbed into the fresh wounds. Care should always be taken to insure sterile conditions. 2) The breaking of skin by use of a corporal instrument. Single lash whips, canes, crops and others can cut if used improperly. 3) The deep stingy feel of some toys.
