Dental dam - A latex barrier used for cunnilingus or anillngus to prevent disease transmission. Plastic food wrap is an inexpensive, but satisfactory, substitute.
Derivative pleasure, immediate/delayed - Corporal strokes that are painful at impact, but pleasurable following initial execution. An immediately derived pleasure stroke feels good right after the impact. Delayed derivative pleasure is an accumulation of painful strokes that explodes into sexual heat some time later.
Discipline - The "D" in B&D that can mean; 1) punishment 2) structured training of a submissive.
Do-me queen/king - A bottom that takes passive delight from the physical activities of scening without a desire to give submission or pleasure in return.
Dominance, dominance & submission, D/S, D&S - The consensual empowerment of one partner by the other for erotic enhancement. Dominance and submission are the psychological and emotional underpinnings of SM. [see Power exchange]
Dominant, Dom, Domme, Domina, Dominatrix - The person who is given control in a consensual exchange of power. Domme, Domina, and Dominatrix refers to women. Dominant, or Dom can refer to either gender.
Edge play - Erotic role play near or at the edge of a submissive’s or dominant’s limits. The term also refers to activities that carry a higher than usual element of risk.
Electro-torture - The use of electrical stimulation to create a desired physical sensation.
Emotional buttons, emotional triggers - Associations with words, behaviors, or activities that provoke a strong emotional reaction. Dominants will do well to become familiar with the unique triggers of his submissive. It is important to know, as much as possible. which buttons evoke positive and negative responses.
Endorphins, endorphin high - Endorphins are substances created by the body to help endure pain or stress. Entirely natural, but theoretically similar in feel to opiates. The body’s release of endorphins may create a feeling of well-being, even intoxication, which is called an endorphin high. People differ dramatically in their ability to release endorphins. The possibility of addiction to endorphins has been conjectured.
Enema - The instrument used for, or the act of injecting fluid into the anus to flush the lower intestines. Some people include enemas in SM scenes for humiliation, for preparation for other activities (such as fisting or anal sex), and/or simply because they may enjoy the sensation.
English - A code word for spanking or corporal punishment sometimes used in ads. We will have achieved social acceptance when ads in mainstream papers can say, "Romantic sadist seeks masochist lover," instead of nonsense like, "devotee of English culture seeks receptive partner."
Erotic power - Erotic power is like potential energy, becoming significant only when it is exchanged or used to empower a dominant by the transfer of control. [see Power exchange]
Erotic pain - Stimuli that are painful under normal circumstances, but are pleasurable or arousing in a sexual context.
Erotic restraint - Restricting movement for erotic play. Also, refers to the devices used for said purpose.
Erotic surrender - The sexually motivated gift of control of one’s self (within negotiated limits) to one’s partner. A more accurately descriptive phrase for submission.
Erotically altered consciousness, EAC - Any one of several altered states of consciousness achieved by erotic stimulation. [see: Bottom-space, Sub-space; Endorphin high, Flying, Top-space]
Fetish - A sexual fixation on an activity or object.
Fetish community - The name given to that group of people having an alternate sexual or gender orientation, but excluding the (vanilla) gay and lesbian communities.
Fire & ice - The use of hot and cold for sexual stimulation, especially hot wax dripped from a candle and ice applied to the skin.
Fisting - Insertion of the entire hand into the vagina (vaginal listing) or the anus [anal fisting).
Flagellation - The act of whipping a human being.
Flogger, flogging - An unbraided multi-thonged whip is a flogger. To whip using a flogger or other corporal instruments.
Flying - A transcendent state of consciousness sometimes achieved during an SM scene. This rapturous state has been so often described in a similar manner by independent sources that we have no doubt of the validity of the experience. Feelings described by the submissive seem similar to that of out of body experiences and often include a psychic link to the dom. Most commonly, this link is felt as either a tether to the dominant or as a feeling of being surrounded and protected by the dom’s presence or consciousness. Elation and spaciness experienced after flying may be felt for hours, even days after the session has ended.
French - A common code word for kissing involving the tongue, cunnilingus, and fellatio.
Foot fetish, foot worship - A sexual obsession directed toward the feet and/or shoes.
Forced oral, forced sex - Sexual role play where the dom pretends to force an activity that the sub pretends they are under duress to perform. It involves a shared suspension of reality. (A dom only "forces" the sub to perform activities he or she has requested.)
Gag, gaggage - devices that are inserted in or cover the mouth to muffle sound.
Gear - Toys, props, clothes and what-have-you used for scene purposes.
Gender community - People with cross-gender fantasies or cross-gender identification. Cross-dressers, transvestites, and transsexuals make up the gender community.
Gender orientation - Gender orientation is an issue apart from sexual orientation. It is self-identification and feelings of maleness or femaleness, rather than issues of sexual attraction. A person with an alternate gender orientation may or may not have an alternate sexual orientation. For example; a transvestite or a transsexual may be either heterosexual or gay.
Gender play - To dress up or take the role of the opposite sex during a scene. [see Sissification]
German - A code word for Sadomasochistic desires.
Golden shower - Urination on or in another person.
Greek - The code word for anal sexual activities.
