i watched Poe play a game of pounce the invisible whatever all up n down the hallway. she must be feeling better. she has no tail cuz she's a manx...so watchin her lil nub wiggle back n forth is amusing.
anyway.
i heart qwest.
i hate the electric company.
but im not going to get into that cuz im not in a horrible mood.
i had this thought process last nite and i dont know if i can revisit it...but some of it is still ruminating in there...the whole single parenting thing.
single parents...whether divorced or just single...men or women...have a tough ass time. maybe not if they only have one...i dont know...i havent had that luxury...lol...regardless...that other party? they get off ass easy in comparision. the most they have to do is a send a check...which lets face it...if you get one...you're quite lucky and should prolly know it.
sure they dun get the joy either...first smiles...first steps...first words...but they get to completely avoid all the messiness that comes with parenting. discipline. sleepless nites. dirty diapers. school. homework. the general worry that comes with being a parent.
and while sometimes i think its really quite bullshit...other times...regardless of the fact my youngest daughter will be 2 in roughly 4 months...and her father has never MET her...let alone done a damn thing to aid in her general support as a human being...im still...just...*laughs*...selfishly glad i dun have to share her. selfishly glad i dun have to share any of them.
they're all mine.
i get it all.
all the smiles
all the kisses
all the hugs
all the first steps
all the first words
all the first laughs
all the first time they dressed themselves n wound up with 2 legs in one hole n attempted to walk n fell down
all the bury myself in the sandbox moments
all the dancing to the music
sure...
all the homework
all the crying
all the pain
all the hurt
all the 'why doesnt he's'
all the nightmares
all the 'dont hit your sisters'
all the parent/teacher conferences...
but i figure...if they WERE around...as in..in my life...and were a normal human being and worked 40 hours a week...i'd still get what im getting...the only difference is...they'd have someone else to kiss n hug g'nite at bedtime...they'd have someone else to teach them how to play football and climb a tree...but thats ok..cuz i can do that...cuz im good like that...and what else? sure. money.
money doesnt replace a parent.
it sure does help tho.
so.
they can keep their money. i dont want it.
and ill keep all the moments. cuz they cant have them.
in other news...i bought Monkey a potty. it makes noise...but only when ya 'flush' the little handle...cuz she so adores flushing the toilet...whether someones on it...or not...she's intrigued by it...she sits on it fully clothed...n last nite she attempted to take her pants off...good sauce. i figure i'll give her a couple three days to get used to it...and introducing it to her...and take it from there.
now i just need her to get stop opening my eyelids manually at 5 in the morning.
*goes back to drinking rocket fuel*
