Guess its been a while since my last update. I've been feeling rather burned out lately. The only thing that catches my interest of late is playing EverQuest. Kind of funny right now that I have a bit of urge to write but gotta have the music of the game booming in my ears. Could be cause of how sick I am to that the music is soothing and giving me a bit of a push. Not much though *sighs*
I had the sleep apnea test. Went fine. Kind of weird having all the wires hooked to my head via some icky pasty stuff. Didn't take me long to fall alseep either. The bed was really comfy. Anywhoo, I was told in the morning that at first, while I was sleeping on my side, there was very little apnea activity.
Then I rolled onto my back.
*sighs*, the way it looks, I'll be back for sleep apnea treatments. However I won't find that out until July 3rd! ANOTHER couple months of waiting!
Makes me wanna cry, literally. I can't take the waiting anymore. I keep thinking that they are going to reject me now. By the time I get the actual results from the test, its going to be 13 months I've been working on this. NO ONE I've talked to has taken that long to get their surgeries. No wonder I'm so frustrated. That doesn't count the time I'll still have to wait after to get into the surgeons office and schedule the surgery! IF the insurance approves (STILL no answer with that)
I'm sitting here in tears, barely able to see the monitor because just talking about (well in this case, writting about) the subject makes me tired. I'm so tired of waiting. SOOO many things are now becoming irratating and frustrating and no where near as fun as they were a few weeks ago. I've even noticed yet another group of friends is drifting apart. We still talk but not all together like before. I hate the thought of another group slipping apart. I hate the thought of waiting another couple months. I hate writing right now. I'm getting too damned old to live my life like this.
And tomorrow is Mothers day. I hate not having my mom! I FUCKING HATE MOTHERS DAY! I miss my mum so badly right now. Miss how she could make me laugh even what I was stoney emotioned with a goofy face. Basically what I do to my friends. No one did it better then my mom though. She could always cheer me up. *sighs* I miss and need my mom so much right now. Hard to beleive that up until a couple years before she died, we were damned near enemies. She was my best friend for about 5 years before she died. Not enough time!
Guess I'll shut up and go play EQ or go to bed again. I'm sick big time right now and that may be a big part of my anger and tiredness.
More to be written later.
