Sure has been an insane time for me lately. My brother came to stay for 2 weeks. It was supposed to be 11 days but he wanted to go home Monday instead of Friday so it went 2 weeks. I was tickled pink! We mended some wounds that have bothered me for quite a long time. Time will tell if he will come again to visit but he said in front of Aunt Liz that he does want to. I'm really happy about that.
Of course I been stressing over waiting. And waiting. And waiting. No insurance to surgeon office updates every time I called.
Then things around here got BAD. Shane, Sue's youngest son was almost killed in a motorcycle accident a week ago. He is a mess. But luckily he was so healthy that he is improving faster then doctors thought he could. He's had 4 or 5 surgeries so far repairing the damage. Due to having to take care of the animals here, then Dylyn the 3 yr old grandson Sue was added to the picture, I haven't been able to go to Pittsburgh to help them and its tearing me up. His idiot mother decided she wanted to commit suicide for the 10th or so time since I've been living here (3 years next month). She's an attention has to be completely on her type and did it just because no one was pitying her anymore IMO. I'm not making light of that so please don't think I am, I've tried to commit suicide myself and spent years wanting death. I'd NEVER make light of it for anyone. I'm just sick to death of every time something goes wrong with someone else, she has to try suicide. Literally. I'm not blowing that out of purrportion. She just doesn't want to die because she always makes sure someone is going to find her before she bleeds out. She's always causing drama in this household and this was the final straw. I sat there and watched her promise her son when he said "Mommy don't go to hospital." She told him she wouldn't. Left and a couple hours later we got the call. She's done it so many times now that her 3 yr old knows when she's going to do it!!!!
We are all soooooo stressed its tearing us all down. Anywhoo theres other miner things going on but obviously the last week has been a literal hell time for everyone in this house. Sue and Coley have been in Pittsburgh since Shane was life flighted there. Even the animals are not their normal selves. Thank Goddess Siera and Bubba came to stay with me to help me take care of Dylyn and the 3 dogs or I'd of lost it totally.
So, you may be asking "What the heck does that have to do with gastric bypass journey?" I'm a stress eater. When I stress I eat and eat till I make myself sick. This time frame is so stressful on me I've actually, for the first time since '91 or '92 slammed my fist sides into a wall once and counter twice full force. My fists were clenched so tightly, every knuckle hurt for days as did my forearm. However.....
Even tho I have had a couple times of eating a lot, for the most part I'm NOT eating like I would have 5 years ago. I've made some major strides in controlling my stress eating if I do say so myself! Its mainly been a sweets craving. Its not easy at times but I tell myself to watch it and just try to think of the fact that stress eating is part of why I got this fat. Not once during all of this have I gotten the out of control, shove food down my throat till I can't shove no more mental anquish feeling. That used to drive me insane. I couldn't control it when that feeling hit.
I think this is a sign that not matter what happens to me after surgery, I'll not gain the weight back. I've learned to control my out of control self and I KNOW I will make it finally. Yea I'll slip but I know slips are ok as long as they are controlled. I'm gonna make it.
Did I happen to mention that I got a call yesterday (the 24th) that ends with me having SURGERY ON AUGUST 19th!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Its going through! Its official! The date is set and theres no turning back. I still can't believe it lol. I've been waiting for sooo long! It will be 2 years, 2 months since I started trying to get this done next month (NOT including the 6 to 8 months I've tried to get it through the VA Hospital).
A couple silly facts. The 23rd was Siera's birthday. Today (25th) is Coley's birthday. I think their birthdays brought me some luck because the call came in the day in between lmao. Also August 21st is my 38th birthday so I'm having surgery 2 days before lol. I'm gonna call this the Lucky Birthday Time lol.
So anywhoo, I have to get some testing done that had to wait for the date to be set and get with the nutrionist within the next 2 weeks. Then things will get interesting. I'll more then likely be writing a lot more often so ya'll can follow what happens etc.
26 days and counting. My 38th year is going to be one hell of a year! I'm gonna make it. I'm so excited I'm as wiggly as a kitten about to pounce lol. I'm also scared to death lol.
Thank you to EVERYONE thats been supporting me and sending out prayers etc. They've finally been answered! Wrap your arms around your waists and squeeeeeze hard. Thats a hug from me since I can't give most of you one in purrson.
More to be written later.
