December 10, 2006, 07:03:pm
I'm getting more nervous about seeing the surgeon. I keep thinking of what is going to happen. Its so hard to imagine, yet I can't stop thinking about it.
I'm scared to death yet anxious to get it done. Now I'm researching again the differences between the Lap-Band and the actual bypass.
Part of me wants the speedier loss with the bypass while the other part of me wants the least complications. I guess I'll just have to keep reading again and do a pro-con comparison lol.
I went all day yesterday and half of today without a cig! I only smoked a half of one when I did finally give in. Nasty tasting it was lmao. Its getting easier to go longer distances of time between puffs. I don't even get jittery unless I'm pushing myself too far. But I made it over 1 full day, fully awake and not a big jittery! Only had a couple points of bad craving and I just told myself I can wait another hour.
Such a big issue with such little things (the cigarettes).
Now to keep myself thinking of the benefits of going through all this hell. New clothes, being able to take a walk in the woods, going swimming without looking like a whale, go for a horse back ride without the horse wanting to ride my back, traveling to visit friends and pester the living tar outta them (think pouncies dearies rotflmao), new clothes, JEANS! Jeans! Jeans! I think that is the one thing I'm going to look forward to the most. Being able to wear a decent pair of non fat type jeans. I bet I get a few dozen pairs lmao. When I was thin, I had a crap load of clothes and I knew how to dress to make me look good. I have my own sense of style and I really can't wait to get back to it!
*Sighs, time moves slowly when you want it to speed up yet at the same time it goes soooo fast its scarey.
More to be written later.
