Icarus's blog: "Augurs, Martyrs, and Agnostics"

... put on Rosalita, on loop if you have to.

Alright, tonight I went to a full moon party.

Whatever that means.

Took a light nap, and had an out with some organ pain.

Things were pretty slow.
In a weird tense way.

Tiny redhead showed, and gave no indication.
No sign.

So by around 10:30 I was ready to pack up and drink at home, but as about six people left, six more showed.

Guy I hit on.
Pseudo-brother, and his girlfriend.

That's about six right?

Things happened.
I got a call
and was sincerely advised to fuck someone tonight.











"That's not happening"

"Why not?"

"I just aint got that kinda appeal babe"

















Smoked my first cigarette in 3 years.
Went on a beer run with the little, and talked about his upcoming tour.

And the weirdness we find ourselves in.

I wanted to talk about something else, but he didn't really bite.

2 40's, six pack, and a couple reds.

We killed over half of it.

Just chilled after that

but the damndest thing happened >>

lil's girlfriend gave me a hug

"hope that's not weird"

and paid me multiple very flattering compliments.


"I wish I had a book of your one-liners, they always crack me up"

I raised an eyebrow
and laughed like a pirate

"When you talk to dogs it's the cutest thing ever"

"That's because I'm part dog"
(as I pet two dogs at the same time)








and then she painted a big crazy sigil on the top of my hand




I don't remember talking much during that.
I mostly remember my hand on her knee... and trying to remember I care a lot more about her boyfriend than her.














I guess the moral of the story is
chicks with boyfriends love me >>




more things happened


I beat my old high score.







Danced with my lesbian friend.
Had a couple crossed wires, she's used to leading- and I almost dropped her on a dip XD

woops.











And then I talked about dogs.
And robots.












Folks went to bed.
Folks went home.

"I'm glad you came over, you're always looking after people, y'know?"

"comes natural"

"Yeah, but I guess I'm just saying I'm not a good mom... I want to just have a good time"

"I like doing nice stuff for people- and it keeps peace with your roommate"

"yeah, I'm scared of him"

"Scared? Why, he's a nice guy"

"I dunno, I  guess I've done a lot of stuff that lost his respect"

... I wanted to tell her that she had done several somethings to lose my respect.

But I guess loyalty, hope, and empathy are my failings.














It's not like I've never been tempted, never strayed, never faltered.


















I'm kinda the odd mid-fielder in this group.

Weird position to be in, but I'm trying to empathize, and relate to everyone- even if there are some idealogies and actions in direct conflict with each other.

And I'm in the middle.
Speaking sensibly.










Maybe not the coolest guy, but in an awkward, sincere way
the coolest guy.











... and then there's a party tomorrow too >>