Ok, here we go again, so WAKE UP.....!
Zach, my son, the only natural born heir to my throne (or recliner). 16 years old, 6'5" (no typo there), 185 lbs, dark hair and almond eyes like his momma, olive complexion, and empathetic like his momma, hard headed and stubborn like his daddy.......
I finally figured out why he is as tall as he is, to make room for that huge heart of his. I've never known another kid that is as capable of love as that boy. He has this natural ability to bring out the heart in anyone, and I've seen it time and time again. Simply an amazing boy.
He was born on Sept. 10th, 1989 at 11:58pm.....two minuites more and he would have been born one day late, and shared his birthday with the 9-11 victims......whew.
The night we brought him home from the hospital, I woke up at around 2am, I got up and went to his basinette , there was a moon beam shining through the window, illuminating him. I reached down and picked him up, and at that very moment, I knew there was a God.......I held him up to the sky and swore right there that I would love and cherish him until the day I die.....damn....the tears were happy ones that time.
Now he's almost grown, so mature for his age, his gentle soul, his easy ways, and his slow walk...It's like he's been on earth before and this is just a visit to check up on us. I guess you can figure that I'm pretty proud of that boy...huh.
The worst part of all of these troubles with his Mom and I, is seeing the disappointment in his eyes, the hurt he's dealing with, the pain in his heart. God I just want to curl up and die when I see it............
I told him, he has his choice, he can live with me, or his mom, it was up to him. He wants to live with me, he always was daddies boy, but I watched his face as he made a tough decision and choose to stay with her. He knows that she'll need him, and he knows that he should be there with her. So thats where he is.........God I'm so damed PROUD of that boy, just wish I had the words to tell him that. Someday I'll find them.
Now don't think I've forgotten about my other two, A and L.....A is now 26, married and has a son of his own, A Jr. A and I had a hard time together, I came into his life when he was 7, and his real father was pretty much not on the scene. So he attached to me pretty quickly, trying to replace his father with me, and that was fine by me, his real father is a complete ass.........and he's proved it time after time.
L....such a beautiful young woman, such a wonderful mind, such a screwed up attitude....sigh. Someday, a good, strong man is gonna grab her, show her what it is to be loved by a real man.
Both have kids of their own, a boy each, both born within two weeks of each other (You have ANY idea how EXPENSIVE that is for the GRANDPARENTS ???). Little A, and Isaiah...the Mook twins...PaPa's boys.....Love it !!! Spoil hell outta them, feed em fulla sugar, and send em home.........ROFL....vingance so sweet !!!
Yep, definately a plus being GrandPa !
Lots of people now seem to have the impression that I don't like kids, boy are they wrong. I've raised my kids, I've been a father, and a grandfather....wouldn't trade it for the world. Don't have a problem helping raise more.....Just have to keep in mind that things will be different with me. In a LOT of ways.
You know, sitting here in this apartment, alone, at night, sometimes the quiet is a bit deafening, not hearing any little noises, no thumps and bumps, giggles or yells....sometimes, the quiet is too quiet. Sometimes the quiet is just too loud. At those times, that is when I miss them most, that is when I think that maybe, just maybe......I need someone in my life, someone who will understand my needs as a man, as a Master, as a human being.
And so far, I've only found one who does. More about that later though
To Be Continued..............
