Well, here I am again, lots of things happened, lots of thing happening. The divorce was rough, the loneliness prevails, the hurt is still there..........but, I'm still alive, I'm still pushing, and mainly, I'm still happy!
There were a couple of bad spots, some still needing to be fixed, some just plain absurb to have happened. My name was slandered, my honor put to the test, my patience and temper sorely tried. Most for naught, some for good reason.
I find it interesting that there are people out there who take what they percieve as a slight to them, and blow it up into a thing so out of proportion and full of lies, that it's nothing NEAR what the truth is. I often shake my head in wonder at the extremes some will go to, merely because they decide to take one persons word as gospel without even attempting to talk to the other person involved.
To date, I've been accused of many, many things, things that are so far outside of my personality, and mental traits, that anyone having the least bit of contact with me, would know that they were simply things I'm incapable of!!!
So here and now, I'll set the record straight;
I'm healthy
I'm gentle
I'm non-violent
I'm honest
I'm caring
I'm hard working
I've never stolen
I don't lie
I don't cheat
I believe in a higher power
I have dreams and aspirations
I need physical contact
I have a heart
I have GREAT capacity for love
I WANT to be loved
I adore my son
I still care for my ex-wife
I appreciate my friends
and I protect whats mine
Now, all of the above basically equates to an average man, with average needs and desires. I have never said that I'm any better than that, nor do I want to be better than that. I embrace my humanity, my maleness, my abilities, and my inabilities.
So why in the HELL would anyone say anything different about me??? It just baffles me to the core that there were a few who did..........it simply astounds me!!! Oh well, the hell with all that, life goes on, day by day, we just keep on moving.
I did finally get to meet Kim, what a great lady she is.........we will be friends to the end, thats for certain. She is a tough lady for sure, had her back up against the wall more times than most, and she's still kicking. Damn, I admire her !!! Kimmy, your awesome, let NO ONE tell you different.
Also, over the last few months, I've met and befriended several others as well, gracious, honest, intelligent people who I admire........Ron, Bear, Xena, John, Tommy, Annie, Rickanna, Dawn, Mike, Phoenix, Leslie, Kay (you'd be surprized who that one is), Mr, and Mrs. Cue, Juan, Chelsea and Joe, but most of all, there was one who proved as valuable a friend as any, and that one is Sherri. Now the guy who finally tames her, oh boy, he's gonna be a hell of a lucky guy !!! Good luck to you, whoever you are buddy, it ain't gonna be an easy ride, but I'll wager it'll be well worth the effort..........!
Sherri proved to be a hell of a sounding board for me, she found all those little nooks and crannies that still needed dusting out, she brought them to light, and made me face them (or at least mull them over). She was unrelenting in pointing them out, and she never, not once, let me make excuses for any of them...............BRAVO Sher !!!
Hmmmm, now this brings up another thought, why is it that women seem to be either the bane of me, or the salvation of me? Gonna have to rattle that one around in my head for a while too...........damnit !!!
Ok, on with the life story..........I did it, I started a business, I got my license, I worked out the strategy, I screwed up my courage, and I stepped off into the abyss. Now I'm the proud owner of a small General Contracting firm that is beginning to see the light of day, money is easing up, business is moving, and my good reputation is increasing. Soon, I'll have things in damned good shape and I'll be able to, once again, come and go as I please.
It hasn't been easy, thats a given, money got thin, a couple of clients forgot to pay up when the work was done, and I just got done working 21 days straight with no day off to rest. Whew, and the company is only a few months old ! But over all, it's moving ahead, we're booked up for the next month or so, and we have some good leads on some outstanding prospects. Not to mention an INCREDIBLE client who is connected beyond my wildest dreams, and so happy with the work we've done for her, she's telling everyone about us !!!
As for my love life, well, I guess it's on hold for now, work and my personal goals are taking up so much of my time that I can't give enough focus to that part of my life right now..............but not for long.........hopefully.
So there you have it, from the ashes arise a man, a man who is now becoming complete in himself, a man who is again happy to be a man, happy to be alive, and proud of what he is doing.
So if any ask, all I can say is this; "One Day at a Time, One Step at a Time, One Solution at a Time" Stop, think about who and what you are, look in the mirror, be certain you like what you see, and if not, make the changes necessary. You won't regret it.
