Hello everyone...
Been some time since I made a journal about my life so here we go... I am recently single... and broken, I don't have a drive to do anything anymore.
I would say life sucks but really it’s just how things are... I must keep walking forward, looking back I will just see the remains of my shattered heart strewn on the floor.
All of my plans are in the air... I don't know what I want to do anymore, I have a friend in England that wants me to go stay up his end for a little and I am considering it just to get away from the world.
it’s funny you know I was readying myself for what was to come but now that it is here I don’t want to fight the darkness... I want it to swallow me and I know this is melodramatic and just stupid but that’s how I feel... honestly just want to lay down and not get back up.... but I can’t do that... I swore after the first attempt to my goddess that I would always fight on and never look back but there is so much behind me I just want to turn around and look once... just once...
Why can’t I shut the noise up?
Always mocking me with its happiness and Love...
I stood strong for so long and fought my way through so much fucking shit... so much hurt and joy and tears, but why?
Ah I don’t want you to answer these questions...
I want to say a lot of things right now as the pain wells up in my chest as it always dose these days but I am going to stop and just back away from the keys again... maybe lose myself in a game again and hope music drowns out the noise...