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What are you waiting for?
I’ve often heard women give a list of characteristics that they want in a man: a sense of humor, ambition, intelligence, being a gentleman, kindness, etc. However, when these women come across men of this caliber, they often aren’t interested, explaining they just don’t “feel it.” Who knows what “it” is and why they aren’t feeling? This used to be utterly confusing to me, nonetheless. Worse yet, if a man approached them and said “Good news! I am all the things you’re looking for; I am funny, ambitious, intelligent and kind,” the women seemed even less interested than before.
In dating circles, I’ve learned this and adapted accordingly. Yet sometimes, in some realms, I’ll expect this woman I just met to be different; I will expect this new found golden gem to say what she means and mean what she says and I’ll revert back to the whole “I have the characteristics that you’re looking for” syndrome, forgetting it doesn't work. And you know what? It doesn’t work.
What I’m discovering instead is that all the women I’ve ever met are attracted to and repulsed by the same things. Women do not like neediness, clinginess or indecisiveness (most men don’t like these qualities either, btw). On the other hand, women respond to “attraction.” If they “feel it”, they’re interested regardless of what characteristics the guy might have. And generally, the way women feel attraction is when they meet someone with characteristics of "confidence", "indifference", "cockiness", "mysteriousness", who have a “rough edge” and who are a “challenge” and "funny". Strange. So much for listening to a woman tell me what she’s looking for.
I’m moving to Spain in two months. Think the women are any different over there?
